Little Miss Perfect ✔~ trixya

Chapter 25: To Make You Happy

Trixie

"You're no daughter of mine!"

That's what my dad screamed at me.

They didn't take the news well, or more specifically, dad didn't take the news well. He made me tell him everything about Katya, screamed at me for defying God's word. He called me a freak of nature, told me I'm grounded for the rest of the school year and that I should feel lucky that he's not kicking me out, and then called the school and demanded that Ms. Visage changes my math partner. Dad then called our minister and asked for councelling sessions for me, and also asked him for Alyssa's help to keep me on a straight path at school. Basically, I'm screwed...

I don't even know what to tell Katya.
How do I tell her that I basically have no chance of seeing her? 
How do I beg her to wait even longer?
Will she even want to?

"Trixie, honey?" My mom says as she knocks on my door.

"Yeah?" I say through thick tears.

I've been crying for hours.
I have never been yelled at like that.
I've never misbehaved in all of my life, so he never had a reason to.

"Can I come in?" She asks as she peaks her head in the door. 

"Sure." I whisper.

I don't know what mom thinks, she hasn't said a word since I came home. Dad went for a full blown attack, but mom stayed completely silent with just a blank expression, which I still don't know what to think of.

She walks inside, looks around for a bit without saying anything, before she smiles as she spots an old light green sweater.

"You never liked this sweater. You always tried to fake it for me, but I knew you thought it itched too much and that you felt it didn't fit you right." She says as she picks it up and sits down on my bed next to me.

"Such a silly little thing to lie about, and still you did. Always my perfect little girl in the bedroom down the hall. I remember you used to have an Ariel night light and we'd sing Part Of Your World every night before I got you to sleep. And you had glow stars on your ceiling. You thought they protected you from monsters. And the Barbies... God, you could never get enough of them. Always finding more that you wanted to add to your collection of toys. Back then I did anything to make you happy, I wanted to give you the world, and I don't think I realised that we at some point switched roles..." She speaks, her eyes still searching the room.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"You shouldn't have to lie to me, Trixie. You should have never had to put on a smile and pretend. You've seen the bottles, right?" Mom says.

"Ehm.. yeah, yeah I have." I say sheepishly.

I know she's been drinking too much, I've known for a long time, but actually discussing it still feels very uncomfortable. 

"And you know about your dad's endeavours?" 

I nod in response, I know far too well about dad's affairs. 

"I thought so... What a palace of secrets we're living in, huh? I should leave him, shouldn't I?" She says.

"I don't know, but I don't think I could stay with someone like him." I respond, being completely honest with my mom for the first time in years.

"I know...  It's just hard, I love him, you know? Stupid really, I've always known he didn't truly love me. But at least he gave me you." She speaks, making me turn to her in surprise.

"Wait.. you, you don't hate me?" 

"Trixie, why would I ever hate you? You're my daughter." My mom responds, seeming shocked at the very idea. 

"But... but, dad was so angry and he said I wasn't his daughter anymore and it defies your belief and you didn't speak against him and..."

"Trixie. Trixie, honey, calm down." She says, pulling me into a hug. "It's okay, I promise. It's okay. Your dad has no right to speak about God's will, he sins more than both of us put together. But no, I don't hate you. He might push you away, but I won't, you're still my perfect little girl in the bedroom down the hall. I don't fully understand it, I don't know what to think in terms of God's plan for you, and I didn't see it coming, but I still love you." She adds, and I feel tears streaming down my cheeks.
I don't need her to understand it, not as long as she still loves me. 

"I love you too, mom." I say softly through my tears. Mom pulls back from the hug and smiles at me as she dries some of my tears and brushes my hair away from face. I feel like a little girl again. Her little girl.

"So... Kati..no, ehm, Katya?" She asks, uncertain if she's remembered the name right. I nod at her. "Do you love her?" Mom adds.

"More than anything in the world." I reply without hesitation.

"Good, and she loves you?"

"Very much, I have no doubt that." I say.

"Okay then, that's all that matters." She responds. "I can't change your father's mind or change his punishments, but I will support you and I will try my best to be couragous enough to leave him so he can stop hurting us both." 

"Thank you, mom." I whisper as I throw myself into her arms again. 

We might not be out of the woods yet, but now there's at least hope. Now I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
There's a chance.