Rye's Start {EDITING} (Book #2)

Depressed x2

*Kat POV*

Nothing has been the same, and for now I don't think it ever will be. Gale is trying the best he can to be here for me, but Peeta is making it hard for him. I feel like he is taking his anger from Willow being scared of him to Gale. I understand why, but none of this would have happened if I just stayed home from that crazy night in the captiol.

Lately, I have been extremely un motivated. To eat. Drink. Or even talk, I just want to sleep the pain away, but there is no relief in sleeping either because of the nightmares I have every time I close my eyes.

I hear a knock on the bedroom door. I don't have the energy to say come in, but thankfully the person just opens the door and kneels in front of me. Its Gale; he finds the time to visit me when Willow is at school, and Peeta is at work.

"Hey catnip." I just nod,"Not a good day?" He asks.

"No day is ever a good day..."

"Stress?"

"That's part of it. Another part is you and Peeta hating each other.''

"Katniss I don't hate him... I have always admired people who choose to smile after all the things they have been through. Its just I was jelouse back then...Because nothing hurts more than trying to be good enough and being replaced by someone better." He says

"Gale I don't have the energy to feel sympathy for you. Or anyone, look thanks for coming but come back tomorrow, maybe I'll feel better." At first he refuses but I threaten to harm the baby if he doesn't leave, so he does.

I don't understand the meaning of love. I don't understand why people keep loving me when all I give them in return is a headache. I am now 4 months pregnant, and my stomach is still pretty much flat. Even though I'm not worried because I know why that is happening. I haven't eaten a good meal in about a two weeks now, but too throw Peeta off I eat maybe a cheese bun or two, then purposely throw it up.

When Peeta gets home,on his lunch break, he urges me to take a shower knowing I haven't taken one in two days. He says that he is going to start on making me ouch and that he will be back in five. I slowly get up undress and start my bath.

I stare at myself in the mirror. I look at the scars that dance across my body. My chest, my arms, my stomach. I am a disgusting, filthy, ugly, and fat. How can anyone love me looking like this. I place my hands over my stomach and press down, wondering if I will feel something. Or even if this thing inside me is alive. Then Peeta walks in a sees me.

"Katniss." He looks straight at me.

"Uh yeah.." I quickly turn the water off and get in the tub. He looks down at me. I haven't let him see my body since I got pregnant.

"You look thin."

"What do you mean?"

"Katniss you are a size six and your clothes are getting big." He walk closer and is now just above me. His eyes well up," Katniss you haven't been eating have you?"

"I have-"

"Don't lie to me, babe I can see all of your ribs!" He looks down my body.

I start crying. I can't take all of this, I never asked for this and I am just so tired. Emotionally and physically. Peeta undresses himself and sits behind me in the tub and puts his arms around me. Then he reaches for the soap starts to wash me off. I resist but he gently says," let me wash you..."

"Babe. I love you."

"I love you too." He turns my head and kisses me. So I turn all the way around.

He pulls back, and so do I. He continues to wash me off and then washes himself. Then I rinse us off and we get dressed.

"Look Katniss I left you peanut butter and banana sandwich on the counter, I will pick willow up from school, I will see you at diner and don't forget we have a doctors appointment for willow and an ultrasound tommorow. And Katniss?"

"Yeah?''

"Please eat." Then he kisses me and goes back to work. And I go back to sleep.