Rye's Start {EDITING} (Book #2)

Arguments

What have I done? I have done many bad things in my life, but this goes beyond anything and everything. What will Peeta think, oh gosh is is going to kill me. I want to scream But right now that is the last thing I am thinking about.

I rise and stumble to the bathroom and throw up in the shower. It burns twice as much going back up then it does going down, and I have a wicked headache. After I clean up, I hear Gale throw up as well, he just wasn't as fortunate as me to get to the bathroom.

I get up and go face gale, until I realize that I am naked. So I grab a sheet and rap it around me. He stands up also completely naked and paces the floor," Uh, Gale?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to put something on... Maybe like some underwear?!" I almost shout, but in doing so I have only made my headache worse.

He puts his underwear on," Katniss do you know how this happened? Because I can't remember anything from last night?"

"No." I answer," Nothing useful... Gale what were you doing there anyways?"

"Me? What about you!"

"Gale arguing going isn't going to solve anything...All I remember is going out for a girls night with Delly. Delly!"

I make my way to the phone on the night stand and dial Delly's number.

"Hello?"

"Delly, its Katniss."

I can hear the relief in her voice," Katniss where are you? I couldn't find you last night. I'm still in the city."

"Dell I am safe. I'm with... A friend. Look just ride home without me. I should be home by tonight at 5." I hang up the phone without an other word.

"Look katniss, I swear if I knew that you were you, I wouldn't have done this."

"Look, that doesn't matter now, it already happened. Did you use protection?" I wisper, every nosie I hear or make just make by head feel like its going to explode.

"Not that I know of."

I collapse on the bed," How am I going to tell Peeta?"

"Simple. You don't, okay this never happened. We will just go back to our normal lives."

"I can't just pretend I didn't have sex with you, you must be crazy, plus I'm not like you. I don't lie about every mistake I make, I'm not like you Gale... I can't live a lie, to make myself feel better."

After I said we dont talk for a long time. We both clean up, take showers, and get dressed. Before we open the room door he says," Katniss. I'm sorry... I didn't want this to happen. But I will see you in a month."

"What?"

"I am moving back to D12 remember?" He says

Great, that is just what I need... For Peeta to not only learn that I slept with gale, but also that he is moving back. I never told him, even though it slipped out 2 nights ago with Peeta.

I say nothing to that and head out the door, to the train station back to my life. I don't think that after today I will be leaving D12 anytime soon.

**********

Later after that, I get home and the day slowly winds down, and I manage to get willow in bed by 8.

So now, at this very moment, Peeta and I lay next to each other in bed. No movements or words. Just the sound of the wind howling on the other side of the window.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks.

"Yes babe?" I answer.

"Where were you?" He asks

"Girls night out."I say sternly. He sits up, hands through his hair.

I sit up as well, "What now Peeta?!" We have been arguing since the moment I came back.

"Katniss I know what happened. Is something wrong with you? Katniss I love you, you know that. But do you ever think?"

"Take it back!" I yell.

"No! Katniss you Slept with Gale! He called the house phone, I don't even know how he got our number and he said that he slept with you and that he is 'sorry'!"

"Yes Peeta! I did alright!? I was drunk. I went out and I had sex with Gale, and it has been eating at me all day!"

"So why didn't you say something? Why did I have to ask you-" He says back.

I inturupt him," I went out with Delly but guess what, before that, I haven't been out of this freaking district in over 3 years! I was hesitant at first but I went because why not; I didn't plan to do this! Is it a problem if I want to go and relax for a couple of hours? I wouldn't mind if you went out with the guys to a district."

"You woulnt mind because I wouldn't be screwing my childhood friend. " He says.

"Peeta I said I am sorry. What else am I supposed to say?!"

"That I am dreaming!" He wispers.His face started to turn red.

I hear a loud sob coming from out the door.

"Oh great look what you did Katniss."

"Me!" I said offended,"You know what? Peeta leave. I just can't anymore. Get out of my house, leave the key. "

I can see the pain in his eyes, but its quickly replaced by pure anger." He grabs one of the many bags we have in the closet and stuffs as much as he can and opens the door.

Willow is kneeling down in front of the door holding her doll, tears still coming down.

Peeta trys to hug her goodbye but she starts screaming when he touches her. She runs past him to me, then jumps onto the bed and into my open arms, Crying on my chest soaking my night gown.

Peeta's eyes start turning red,and his face pale, and his breathing becomes shallow, like he is trying not to cry. He takes one last glimps at the both of us and leaves without a word.

Willow raises her head still crying. "Where's daddy going?" She says in between breaths.

"I don't know baby... I don't know" I say.

She eventually falls asleep on me, so I put her where peeta would lay.

Then I work on me. It takes me a while to cool down, but as soon as I do, start crying, but quietly. I don't want to wake her.

I've done it.

I've lost my husband.

I've lost myself.

I haven't been feeling like my self. I am fine one minute and the next either fine, extremely happy, or extremely depressed.

I end up crying myself to sleep only to end thinking of him, and how I could have just possibly ended our marriage...

What have I done?