The Other Harmon (Benny Watts TQG)

Part 13 : I Can't-

We sat in the bed quietly still trying to process what happened. He seemed scared of me which was kinda cute.

"So..."

"So, this hotel room sure is quiet isn't it"

"Benny, what were you doing in the bathroom?"

"I choose not to answer that question,"

"Benny" I warn

"You saw... you know exactly what I was doing"

"I did, why were you doing it?"

"I'm a guy, we've been here a week and a half, I kinda didn't have a choice. And I couldn't exactly do it on the floor"

"You could have just said I would have gone to the bar or something" I smiled

"You're too sweet Honeydew,"

"What exactly is the reason you were doing it... the real reason"

"Y/n it's hard to explain..."

"Then explain it to me"

"The first time I met you, you were just a little girl, but the more time I spent away the more you grew up and every time I saw your... I wanted to more and more"

"Wanted what?" I asked

"To... kiss you, and touch you, and do so many other very, very, bad things. Things to you" he says looking right at me his hands looking desperate, he looked like he wanted anything in the world "but I can't!"

"Why not?" I asked and he froze

"What- what do you mean?"

"I mean it's not like I've pulled away or anything, I kinda thought you knew I wanted you to kiss me"

"Don't say that..." he says "I can't, I can't kiss you, I can't touch you I can't do anything"

"Why not?"

"Because... when I look at you, you're a beautiful, attractive woman who I admit I have rather strong feelings for but if I go to-" he began playing with my hair but going to grab my breasts his hand's inches from my nightie "to touch you're-  or kiss you... I don't see that beautiful woman anymore"

"What do you see?"

"I see you. The way I first met you as a stupid little girl giggling And smiling at me and then... I can't," he says moving his hands away

"Benny, why do you hang around with me, really?"

"You calm me down" he shrugs slightly blushing "y/n, my head works a hundred miles faster than everyone else, I can't turn my head off I can't stop thinking all I ever do is chess, it's my job, my hobby, what I do to relax it's everything. And I alienate people because I can't turn my head off know one likes being around me for any length of time. But... when I'm with you, you slow me down"

"Isn't that bad?"

"No, not at all, you slow my head down to a speed I can actually think of, you make me relaxed and calm just even being around you I start to feel... better." He says

"Ohh Benny, that's so sweet" I smiled hugging him tightly he didn't move a second before he relaxed and hugged me tightly to "now to bed we have practice in the morning," I told him he nodded going to get off the bed and sleep back on the floor but I held his arm so he couldn't move away

"Y/n... what are you doing?"

"Stay with me," I smiled "please Benny"

"Okay" he nods nervously I kinda liked seeing him this way the only time I had ever seen him nervous or scared of anything, I went sitting against the headboard and he slowly climbed into the other side sitting against the headboard "so... we're really doing this"

"Yep" I smiled

"I'm getting that wave again"

"Of what?"

"Of having to force my head to remember you when you were little"

"Benny, why do you have to think about when I was little if you're close to me?"

"It stops me from thinking about anything else"

"Like what?"

"Like... everything I wanna do to you"

"Like?" I giggled "what about right now? Sat here in this bed, what are you trying not to think about"

"Y/n-"

"Take little me out of your head what do you think" I laughed

"That... the bed is comfy, that you look pretty, that your nightie is uhh is cute"

"Why would you be trying not to think that?"

"And that... I wanna kiss you, and hold you close to me, and touch you, and... do other things to you"

"What other things?"

"I can't- I can't say them in the presence of a nice lady"

"You can think about them in the bathroom though?" I smirked

"I couldn't help it! I've been trying hard, I knew if I could just get through this trip with you I'd be fine. If I can sit here with you and not give in then I won't ever do it again"

"Aww Benny," I smiled holding his hand "come on let's get some sleep" I smiled. He nodded, turning the light off and laying down rather nervously in the bed. I smiled, turning my own lamp out and laying down as I was in the bed before. But I must have been wiggling and moving for an hour unable to sleep I turned over facing Benny as he laid fast asleep I smiled and moved closer nuzzling my head into his neck moving his arm around me soon enough in his sleepy state his other arm moved around me to pulling me almost tight against him I smiled quickly falling asleep.