Always Keep Fighting

Emotions Are Complicated

     Back at the bunker Raven decided to take her chances at trying the 'state what you want' thing and see if it works. She finally took the cell phone that Castiel gave her out of the box. Removing the plastic film from the screen, she pressed the power button to turn it on. Unwrapping the charger she plugged it into the phone and found a wall outlet. She moved her chair closer to the outlet so she could play with the phone as it charged. When the phone powered on, the lock screen was a beautiful image of a black raven.

Cas must have messed with the phone before giving it to me. She thought to herself feeling a smile tug at her lips.

She fiddled with the settings, tweaking them to how she wanted the device to be set up. She created different folders for certain types of apps. Everything was completely organized.

"Hey, Aeryn?" Raven called out into the empty room.

"Yes, Raven?"

"Can you tell if Sam and Dean have set their cell phones up yet?"

"They have. Would you like me to connect you with one of them?"

"No. But are you able to load their numbers into my contacts?" Raven asked.

"Yes, I can. While I'm in your phone would you like me to add the failsafe feature to it?"

"Yes, Aeryn. Thank you." Raven sat back in the chair and watched as screens began switching, opening and closing. There was a new app installed on the device simply named 'Aeryn's Kill Switch'.

"Is that name really necessary, Aeryn?"

"Is it not what they app is for?"

"Yes, but, well... that seems a little heartless." Raven replied.

"Well I guess it's a good thing that I cannot feel emotions right now, isn't it?" Aeryn chuckled.

Raven giggled and then shook her head at the thought of having a conversation with the talking bunker.

"Is there anything else you'd like me to do?"

"No. Thank you for your help." Raven replied.

"Before I go, I thought you'd like to know that Dean and Castiel are outside your door."

Raven sat up and looked towards the door.

"Thank you, Aeryn." She said and quietly walked towards the door. She stood waiting for one of them to knock but instead heard hushed voices. She pressed her ear against the cool wood to try to hear better.

"That's exactly what they are, Cas. Why are you all of a sudden so worried about someone else's feelings?" she heard Dean say.

"How can I be so sure what I feel is real?"

"Look, I'm not going to play matchmaker here but I see the way you look at her. The way you get jittery and even more awkward than normal when she's around. You drank coffee for her for Pete's sake. You hate coffee!"

Raven clicked her tongue at that bit of knowledge. How can anyone hate coffee? She thought to herself amusingly.

"Well the coconut creamer was especially good." Castiel replied. "And it smelled amazing." He said smiling at the memory.

"All I'm saying is maybe don't question it too much. Don't try to define what you're feeling and never try to understand it because you never will. Emotions are complicated and definitely frustrating. But sometimes, Cas, they're worth it.  BUT don't you dare hurt her. She's been through enough."

Castiel was quiet for a moment before I responded to Dean.

"You're right. She has been through enough.  She doesn't need me adding to the pain she feels in her heart..  I'll just ignore it all and forget everything."

"That is not what I'm saying here, Cas. She likes you. It's kind of obvious."

Raven stepped back thinking to herself. Am I really that obvious? How does he know when I don't even know what I'm feeling? She pressed her ear to the door once more.

"Just take it one day at a time, buddy."

"No. I don't want to hurt her.  I never want to see her in pain like that again.  I'm just going to go."

She heard the fluttering of his wings and knew he had disappeared. She stood there processing what she heard. She wanted so badly to call him back to her but at the same time, she knew that with what she had gone through, the baggage that she has... she'd only hold Castiel back from doing whatever it is that he is supposed to do in this new world. She turned away from the door, walked back to her bed and laid down to sleep for the rest of the night.

     Sam was in the library sitting at the map table reading a book when Dean walked in.

"Whatcha reading there?" he asked.

"Just some lore."

"Do we really need any of that stuff anymore?"

"Not sure, but I've got the time now so why not read some of the books I was never able to before?"

"You're a nerd." Dean laughed and walked to his man cave.

They said to just say what I want to watch, huh? He thought to himself as he sat down in the recliner in front of the big screen tv.

"Well, ok. Show me Scooby-Doo." He said.

The television flickered and the screen turned on with the very first episode of Scooby-Doo.

"Well, alright." Dean exclaimed as he readjusted to get comfortable. "Just keep them coming until I say I'm done." He said as he settled in ready to spend the evening watching cartoons.