Everything

Chapter 18

"Hey." The familiar voice made his heart race, and he hated out evident it was. Stupid monitor.

"Hey," Stefon replied, trying to be casual as the monitor continued to track his now pounding heart. A nurse poked her head in for a moment to check on him and write his vitals down yet again before going about her business. They stayed quiet during this.

When she left the room, Seth meandered over to the bed and sat down in the chair Shy had left there for when he returned after work. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

"You should be saying that to Shy." Stefon crossed his arms and refused to make eye contact with the older man.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Well yeah, but I don't know what that means." The young man gave him a disappointed look. That's when he realized, and cringed. "He told you?"

"Yeah. He said you probably wouldn't come visit me. I think he only gave it up because I thought he had said something to make you hate me and I started getting worked up." Seth nodded. "I got every detail out of him though. Seems like you had the time of your life."

His visitor watched the screen of the monitor as Stefon's heart rate declined back to normal. "I um...I didn't know how to react. I may have been a little tipsy from the night before. I went to bed like an hour before he showed up and I was drinking before that. But there was a lot of emotion coming off him and I thought it was some sick joke, and then I was backed into a corner and the rest just kind of...happened."

"Do you love me, Seth?"

Seth was taken aback by the question. "Of course I do. Why would you even ask that?"

"It's not like you ever really tell me...but why would you do that to me? Especially when you had no intention of telling me and you knew I'd find out?"

"I mean...we're not together."

"But Shy is my best friend, who you claim to hate. Of all the people it could have been, you gave in to him? I'd be less upset if it was my cousin, for crying out loud. Or my brother, for that matter."

"I told you, Stefon."

"And I don't buy it, Seth. You were coherent enough to make out Shy's high and call him delusional but not enough to not fuck him?"

"I never called him delusional."

"It was implied. That's why you haven't been visiting me. Because you actually thought he was delusional."

"Wow, way to assume."

"You're not exactly defending yourself."

The two men sat for a minute in their tense remarks. Then Seth stood up. Stefon looked down at his blanket and played with the fabric in his fingers, assuming he was going to leave and start the cycle all over again.

Instead, Seth sat on the edge of the bed and took hold of one of Stefon's hands. "Look at me, Stefon." He ducked his head a little to try and glimpse the young man's face but all he caught was a trembling lip. Seth hooked his forefinger under Stefon's chin and lifted so they were eye to eye. His thumb gently caressed the young man's smooth cheek. Stefon nuzzled his head into the hand. "I love you like crazy, Stefon. You are everything that is right with the world all wrapped up into one troubled young man. I'm sorry that I tried to repress those troubles. I'm sorry you're here right now."

"That's not your fault."

"Yes it is." He moved his hand from Stefon's chin to cup his cheek. "I know it is. I talked to the nurse before I came in here. I know what happened." He took a deep breath. "I don't ever want you to feel that bad again." His eyes grew sad. He leaned in to kiss Stefon's forehead but was met with another set of lips instead. The vitals monitor picked up the change in Stefon's heartbeat again. He tried to deepen the kiss, but Seth pulled away.