Stefanielle/Marina One Shots

If Carina Didn't Forgive Her (Marina)

"And... what am I supposed to do now? Forget that? Am I supposed to trust you?"

"I don't know... I don't know. But I'm okay spending everyday trying to convince you to,"

"Forgive her," Carina looked at Teddy and then back at Maya. She couldn't quite wrap her head around the fact that she was standing there, telling her that she loved her when she slept with Jack.  After all the things she did to make sure Maya knew she was there for her, no matter how loud she shouted or how angry she got. But because she was stood there with tears in her eyes, that would make everything okay again?

"No, Maya. I don't think you understand just how much you have hurt me here and for you to just show up at my work and think that I will just-" Carina felt her voice break as the anger and upset and betrayal really began to set in. "You don't get to just turn up in front of everyone and expect me to fall back into your arms!"

"We can talk inside? Go to your office?" Maya offered, voice weak as she saw a side of Carina that she hadn't seen before. She was beginning to realise how much she took her girlfriend for granted. Carina let out a breathe as she looked up at the sky. If she was going to cry, it wasn't about to be here. 

"Fine," She sighed. Teddy gave her arm a comforting squeeze as they walked off into the hospital, Carina a few steps in front. They stood in the elevator silently, Maya wiping a tear away as she felt her heart beating ten times the pace than it usually would.

"What did you do to your hair?" Carina asked, the silence getting to the better of her as she stared at the doors. 

"My Dad, um... he came down to the... well he grabbed my hair and I just, didn't want it anymore. Like I said, I realised he was abusive, well he still is, I guess," Maya said, fiddling with her fingers. 

"It suits you. A little uneven but nice," Carina said, laughing softly as Maya ran her fingers through her hair. 

"What else would you expect from me cutting my ponytail off with a pair of scissors at the Station?" Maya said, letting out a sigh. At least there was still aspects of being civil, there was a chance. The elevator doors opened and they made their way down the hall. Carina let them into her office and she leant against her desk, watching Maya expectantly as she stood opposite her. 

"Carina... I'm sorry. I'm so sor-"

"Give me a second," She sighed, running a hand through her hair as she tried to piece together her thoughts. "Maya. Just explain to me, please, what I did wrong,"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Maya said, shaking her head.

"What did I do to deserve this? I-" She laughed sarcastically as she looked back into what used to be her favourite pair of eyes. Maybe they still were. But they were tainted. "I said that I am not in the habit of fixing broken people, Maya. But you sucked me in. You sucked me in and I let you shout at me and yell at me and treat me like I didn't have any feelings in this relationship and look where that got me!" She pushed herself away from her desk and walked over to the window. 

"I know, I know, I'm sorry,"

"Stop saying that you're sorry. That doesn't mean anything right now,"

"Carina... I don't know how to make this up to you," Maya walked over to the brunette and paused in front of her, tentatively reaching a hand up to turn her face towards her. Carina felt every bit of anger melt inside of her when she felt the warmth of her hand on her cheek and she tried not to lean into it. 

"Maya," Carina whispered as she rested her forehead against Maya's and a single tear rolled down her cheek. 

"Hey, don't cry, don't cry," Maya wiped the tear away and brought her other hand up so she could properly look into Carina's eyes. She visibly saw her face soften, her shoulders sink and the turmoil in her eyes. Maya moved in first, just a little and at the first sign of movement from Carina, she pulled her in for a kiss, breathing deeply as both felt eruptions in their chest. 

"No, stop," Carina pushed Maya away and took a step back. "You don't fix things like this, Maya," Maya dropped her head and looked at the ground, a million thoughts running through her mind, yet nothing was coming out of her mouth. She just didn't know how to fix this. She messed up the best relationship she had ever been in and she could feel any last aspect of hope of them getting back together slipping away. 

"I think you need to go," Carina said, emotionless as she looked at Maya. 

"Carina, please," Maya took a step in Carina's direction but the brunette halted her. 

"Don't. You need to leave. This is not going to work, Maya. I won't be able to function with the thought of every time we have an argument or you're annoyed for whatever reason that you're going to go off and sleep with someone else,"

"I won't, I promise I-"

"But there's no trust there! A relationship is built on trust and communication and you have broken that. It's ridiculous that you even have to promise that you won't run off and sleep with someone else because I thought that's just basic terms of being in a relationship. Clearly not," Carina shook her head as she paced the length of her office. She was annoyed at Maya but more so annoyed at herself for sticking around as long as she did when it always felt like she put more into the relationship anyway. "This isn't going to work, Maya,"

The way Carina said those words felt a lot more final and Maya could recognise that. She let out a slow breathe and looked at the woman she loved and the woman she hurt. 

"Okay," Carina walked over to the door and rested her hand on the handle, watching as Maya made her way over. They looked at each other, drinking in the moment. It felt much more different compared to other break ups both had been through because they wouldn't be always bumping into each other at work. It felt more final in a way. Carina gazed into blue eyes, it almost felt like the time she had brought Maya lasagne to her office, though this time, she wanted Maya to leave. 

And just like last time, though the meaning was different here, Carina placed a hand on the back of Maya's neck and pulled her in for a kiss, tears filling her eyes as she pulled away and opened the door, staring at the floor. Maya wiped at her eyes as she walked out, regretting everything. 

"I love you," Maya said as Carina shut the door. The brunette pressed her fore head against the door and let out a shaky breath.

"I love you, too," She whispered.