The Eyes of Fate (Currently in Rewrite)

Chapter 44

It was Fang's voice that woke Sentinel this time. He'd finally managed to sleep through the sounds of Ranger and Vyper doing the same thing, albeit lightly, so it took him a minute to figure out why Fang's conversation had woken him.

It was because he couldn't hear the other person, not even the sound of a phone. Still half asleep, he drug himself out bed, carefully maneuvering around Ranger's cot, and headed followed his captain's voice. 

"Fang?" Sentinel asked, his voice groggy even to himself. Fang jerked up from where he was staring into the bathroom mirror. "What are you doing?"

"Hmm?" Fang said in response. "Just checking for pimples, why?"

"Then why were your eyes activated?" Sentinel stretched. Fang's eyes were still glowing bright, and Sentinel noticed he wasn't looking at him.

"Well, shit." Fang scratched the back of his head. "Even half asleep, those eyes of yours see too damn much."

"It is what you hired me for." Sentinel couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face. Fang's matched it. "Now spill."

"Alright, fine." Fang took a deep breath. "I was looking at my own worst fear. I do it every morning, as part of my routine."

"Why though? Why put yourself through all that?" The force of Sentinel's astonishment had him forgetting what he had originally come in here for. "Also, it's not even close to morning."

"Because," Fang took another breath, looking down. "Because I want to know what it feels like. What I do to other people. It's another way of reminding myself exactly what kind of monster I am."

"Fang, you're not a monster." 

"You're wrong, but we can debate that later." Fang stepped out into the entryway and waved for Sentinel to follow. They stepped out onto the front porch, and Sentinel shivered in the cool night air. Fang's voice was louder when he spoke again. "What's got you up already? After the day we had, I figured you'd still be out like the others."

"I could hear you talking." Fang froze as Sentinel spoke. What was he freaking out about? "I couldn't hear the other person. I guess I was curious."

"Well shit, didn't think I was talking out loud." Fang rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry about that. But hey, at least it wasn't nightmares this time."

"Yeah," Sentinel shivered, remembering the nightmare he'd been in when he woke up: Staring down Stellan's eyeless corpse, hearing him talk about how Sentinel could've saved him if only he tried. "Level with me Fang, do they ever let up?" 

"I wish I could tell you they do." Fang shook his head sadly. His eyes dimmed until they were barely visible in the dark. "They do, however, get easier to deal with. You find ways to deal with them, or maybe they stop affecting you at all."

Sentinel sat on the step of the porch. After a second, Fang joined him, and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. His body was radiating heat, and Sentinel was surprised how warm he was in the cold.

"How do you all deal with them?" Sentinel could hear how small his voice sounded, and for a second he hated himself for it, but when he looked up at Fang his eyes didn't hold any judgement.

"Some of us deal with it with more healthily than others." Fang pulled him close before he continued. "Oracle drives herself into her work on the dark web until she feels tired again. Vyper cooks alternates between running and blowing stuff up, depending on how bad it is. Chesyr cuts, but you knew that already. If she's not in as bad a place, she'll usually come cuddle up with one of us in our beds. Ranger works out and hits the bag, or he'll spar with me if I'm up. It's easier to blow off steam if you don't have to worry about hurting the other guy, you know?"