The Eyes of Fate (Currently in Rewrite)

Chapter 52

Fang looked nervous, more nervous than Sentinel had seen him. Of course the captain was usually calm cool and collected, so any nervousness showed was a lot to Sentinel. He was staring almost straight down at his feet, and he was almost shaking with how fast he was breathing. His hands were white knuckle gripping his legs just above the knee. 

He's having a panic attack, Sentinel realized. He's so worried about telling us that he's having a panic attack.

Oracle reached over and put her hand on top of Fang's, and he flinched away from her.

"Don't touch me!" he snapped, his voice as even and steady as always. Sentinel was surprised with that it didn't betray anything that he must have been feeling. His voice softened before he continued. "I'm sorry. I'm getting to it, just, please, don't touch me."

"Sorry," Oracle mumbled, putting her hand back in her lap.

"Okay, so, I guess I'll just tell you guys everything. If I start rambling too much, stop me okay?"

They all told Fang that they'd stop his rambling, but in a glance Sentinel knew they were all lying their asses off about it. They didn't want him to close back up on them. Fang looked around at them all, and Sentinel wondered if he knew. Whether he did or not, Fang took a deep breath and started talking.

"I've always been a bit of a psycho, even as a kid. I liked violent things and knives, watched horror movies without flinching, and even wrestled a lot with my older cousins and stuff. I always kept it under wraps though, from the beginning. I wasn't an angry kid, or at least not that I showed on the outside. One of the few times I let my anger go, I put three teenagers in the hospital and met Soul, who introduced me to the fighting you all saw tonight. I was twelve my first fight there, and I haven't lost a match yet. To be fair, not a lot of people wanted to fight me because they didn't wanna hurt me, so by the time I was old enough I had enough experience to beat anybody there. Hell, I'd had to fight cops a couple of times before I could even drive."

Fang paused to take a drink, and then looked at them all. Sentinel realized that he was waiting for questions, like he usually did when he explained something complex to them. After a moment, he continued.

"The other thing that happened before I could drive was that  I fell in love. Technically I fell in love twice, but it's hard to count the first time. I was just so happy to have a girl to kiss and hold hands with that I ignored the part where we fought all the time and were way too competitive in school. It was while we were technically still dating that I met Grace.

"Grace and I met online, just a random chat site, and hit it off. We exchanged numbers like the dumb kids we were, and we kept in contact. Soon enough we were texting every single day, and she became the light in my life. I was telling her about my problems with my first girlfriend, and she was there to console me. Eventually my first girlfriend learned about Grace, accused me of cheating, and left my ass. I went to a small school, so all at once I had the majority of the girls in my school hating me. It wasn't long after that that I told Grace I loved her. To my joy, she said it back."

Fang paused to drink again, and Sentinel noticed how wide he was smiling. He looked almost lost in the happy memories, until Sentinel looked into his eyes and saw the pain behind them.

"Grace and I were great for a while, truly as happy as could be. We couldn't meet in person since she lived in Boston and I lived here, but we were okay with that. We talked on the phone and video chatted almost every day. I kept her company when her parents were being awful to her, and she calmed when down when I felt like I was on the brink of losing control. She kept me sane, probably kept me alive during a few bad times. Here I was, barely a teen, and plotting out my future with this girl. I was in love.