The Monsters Inside and Out (Scott Howl x Depressed Reader)

45. The Apology

After being home for a day, you get a text from Polly, inviting you to a New Year's Eve party. Unfortunately, since your mom is not on a business trip this time, you're going to have to ask her. However, after the whole incident at your aunt's, your mom has been acting different, more anxious. She seems to space out more often, and she always seems to be thinking about something. In order to try and warm up to the question, you help her around the house the whole day. After dinner, you do the dishes, and once you're finished, you go into your mom's room, and see her reading a book in bed. "Uh, hey mom.. I wanted to ask you something." She looks up at you and gently closes her book, setting it down on her bedside table. "Of course honey, what is it?" You twiddle your thumbs as you ask, "My friends are having a little New Year's Eve party, and I was wondering if I could go?" "Wha- Absolutely not!" "Why not?" "It's one thing to occasionally see them but to go to a party? As a mother, it would be reckless and irresponsible of me to let you go!" "But we just got back from Auntie's, and I've been miserable the whole time! She stole my Christmas present, she made me do so many chores, and then she burned me!" "She told me that you snuck out, and you know how she is with rules. Also, you know how she is with her kids, I think you should've gotten them more." You stare at her, annoyed, and say, "How could you take her side on this? Don't you remember what she did?" You expose your arm, showing her your burn. She winces and looks away. "Honey, put that away, I can't bear to see you hurt." Your anger increases. You say, "Oh yeah? That's not how you reacted when you first saw this!" You expose your other arm, covered in scars. She furrows her eyebrows in frustration, "Are you still doing that to yourself? You need to grow up, you can't control everything by cutting yourself." "And you can't control everything by keeping me away from my friends! You're definitely not making anything better!" "I let you see them once a week, that's more than I ever wanted you to see any monster! Are we really going to do this again?" Suddenly, all your defenses drop. You can sense the fear in your eyes as she tells you what she always tells you. "I didn't have to raise you, I could've abandoned you, put you up for adoption. But I took care of you because I am your mother. I have provided for you, and all you can say to me is that I'm making your life worse by not letting you go to a party? Really (Y/N)? You can't blame me for your shortcomings, I did the best I could." With that, you quickly left her room. You lock your door to your own room, and lay down in bed. You cover your ears, as if that will keep all the bad thoughts out of your head. You can feel tears slowly squeezing out of your eyes.

Where are you? You've never seen this place before. It looks like an old bar. Cigarette smoke floats around everywhere and the smell of alcohol is strong. You look over in the corner and see a group of people playing pool. Around the rest of the room is multiple tables, all filled up with people. One table catches your eye however. There are 5 women sitting at that table. They're each holding a margarita and laughing about something. You approach the table, standing behind one of the women. The woman sitting next to her says, "Hey, girl. That man has been checking you out all night." She points to a man sitting at a bar, who looks away in embarrassment. He seems to be sitting with two other people, all of their heads are covered with hoods. Another woman says, "Yeah, Heather's right. He's totally into you, you should say hi." The women egg the other one on until she finally says, "Alright, I'll talk to him." Her voice sounds familiar. You walk up with her and she flirtatiously plays with her hair. "Hey big boy, don't you know that staring is rude?" He turns more towards her and says, "I'm sorry ma'am, I couldn't help myself, you're just so damn beautiful. What do you say.. We get out of here?" She tosses her hair back and says, "Sure. Why not?" The man fist bumps one of his friends as the woman goes to retrieve her purse, her friends giggling with excitement. One of his friends says, "Damn man, I can't believe you were able to get her." The man replies, "What can I say Lucien? No one can resist me. You and Stan have a good night. I know I will." The woman and man lock arms and begin to exit.

You wake up the next morning to a text from Polly, asking if you can go. You don't want to tell her that you can't just yet, so you decide to get back to her later. All you want is to be alone right now. Or is it? You're so drained, you feel like you can't talk to anyone, but then again, your friends make you the happiest. You go into your kitchen to grab some water before moseying back into your room. Once you get there, your mother is making breakfast. "Ahhh! (Y/N)! Sit down honey, I made you some breakfast!" You suspiciously take a seat at the table as your mom serves you some pancakes. You ask, "What's this for?" "Oh nothing. I just thought I'd make my wonderful child some pancakes." She flashes a smile in your direction, while you remain cautious. Not only did you have a fight last night, but she's also been acting very strange lately, so this random change of mood is somewhat alarming. You slowly munch on your pancakes as your mom sits down with her own helping. "Soo, (Y/N). I'm gonna need you to do a huge favor for me." You look up at her. She puts her focus on her pancakes, avoiding eye contact with you. "What is it you need me to do," you ask, as you bite into another piece of pancake. She looks at you, and says, "Apologize to your aunt." You choke on your pancake. After spitting it out, you say, "What? Why would I do that?" "You broke all her windows. They aren't cheap, you know." "It's not my fault! She poured boiling water on me! It really hurt! I don't have any control over how powerful I am! She got what she deserved, I am NOT apologizing to her." "Please, (Y/N), just a simple apology." "She's been doing stuff like that to me for years! And just because I don't live up to her expectations, there is no way I will ever apolo-" "I'll let you go to the party!" She winces. You look back at her, dumbfounded. She continues to avoid your gaze. You say, "Really?" Wordlessly, she nods. You tell her, "No. I mean, you were so dead set on me not going to this party last night, and now you're just changing your mind all of a sudden?" "Listen, I don't want you going out with those meth-addicted hooligans, especially during New Year's, but if that's what it takes to get you to apologize, then so be it." She continues to look away from you. "Okay. I'll do it." "You'll do it now." Your mom takes out her phone and dials a number, handing it to you to press the call button.

It rings. You clutch the phone tightly in your hand, a blank expression on your face. Your aunt picks up, "Hello?" You put a smile on your face, as if she can hear it. "Hi, Auntie. It's (Y/N)." "Ah (Y/N)! What a pleasant surprise! What makes you wanna talk to me?" You can hear a bit of sarcasm in her voice. "I just wanted to apologize for the other day. I broke a rule, and I should have accepted the punishment. I also must apologize for breaking all of your windows. It was an overreaction, and I can promise you that it won't happen ever again." "Well, (Y/N), that's wonderful to hear." As you're about to say goodbye, she begins telling you something else. "Oh. By the way, I couldn't help but notice that you left behind a... Wrist band? From Spooky High? I didn't realize you play sports, (Y/N)." Before you even have a chance to think of a lie, she continues, "Or maybe you got it from that.. Friend.. Scott? Either way, I have it right here for you. Just ask your mom to come and pick it up if you ever want it back. Bye, sweetie." Click. She ends the call before you can say anything. You hand your mom her phone back and walk to your room. You pull out your phone and text Polly that you're able to go. Feeling defeated, you lay on your bed and look at the ceiling. You should be happy, or at least a little excited to be able to go to a party without sneaking out. But having to apologize to your aunt really brings you down. You stare at your ceiling for what feels like hours until your mom calls you for dinner. After eating, cleaning, and getting into bed, you look at Scott's Instagram, already missing him, until you eventually fall asleep.