The Monsters Inside and Out (Scott Howl x Depressed Reader)

49. Alone

The first day back to school almost seems like a blessing after your break. It was definitely the best and worst Christmas/New Year's you've ever experienced. After getting home from the night you spent at Scott's, your mom was pretty mad. You didn't tell her your plans of staying the night, and naturally, she was worried. Worried for the wrong reasons, but still worried. You told her that since it was really late, you ended up just staying the night, and you didn't think it was a problem. After promising never to do it again, she let it go. The last few days of break were spent just sitting around at home, doing the occasional chore. The entire time you only seemed to be able to focus on two things: Why did your mom want to keep your dad's cheating a secret, and why did Scott get so upset at the party? You really want to confront him, but don't know how to go about it. You obviously have to do it alone too, Scott's always in such a good mood, you can't bring something up that could change that. The only problem is you don't know when the next alone time with Scott will be. He's either always doing something with friends or taking care of his grandma. You decide it would be best to just arrange a date to get him alone. A hand appears right in front of your face, snapping you back to reality. Vera's stern voice follows, "Are you listening (Y/N)?" You blink, answering, "I'm sorry, what?" "I said how was the rest of your break?" "Uh, yeah, it was fine." "Did something happen? You've been spacing out all day today." "No." You look at Scott, who's playing with his food with a fork. His head is resting on his hand, and he has a sad look in his eyes. After an awkward silence, Vera asks Scott, "How was the rest of your break?" He looks at Vera and gives her a toothy smile. "It was great! I spent time with Mawmaw and all my cousins! I had a lot of fun." He looks back down at his food and takes a small bite of it. The bell rings, and you and Scott walk to your lockers together. He stays silent, and while you grab your things, you asking him, "Is everything okay? You seem down." He gives a wide smile like at lunch, and tells you that everything is great. You gently place your hand on his arm and tell him, "You know I love you, right?" He nods his head. "And that you can tell me anything, right?" He nods again and his smile weakens. He rubs his eye, seemingly wiping away a tear. He says, "I love you too," and you continue on to gym.

In gym, Scott continues to be his normal, lovable self. It seems like people are talking to him every second of class, hardly giving him any time to even look sad. You play dodgeball again, and Scott is crushing it like always. The first round ends in almost no time at all, and the second round begins. It lasts for a few minutes before anyone gets hit with a ball, and that person is you. You sit in the designated out zone, and are soon joined by Brian. He sits down next to you, and immediately starts a conversation. "Hey (Y/N)." "Hey Brian." "How's it going?" "Fine, you?" "It's been great. Thank you so much." You look at him. "For?" He chuckles. "For telling Damien to go for me." You remember the conversation you had with Damien. How he really likes Brian, but was scared he wouldn't like him back. Brian must feel the same though. "It's no problem." You smile to yourself, knowing that you did a good thing. You ask, "How did it go down?" "Well, you went to play Truth or Dare, and then Scott went out dancing again, and so that left me and Damien alone. He starts leaning on me, and he's drunk, so I'm not doing anything to stop it. But then he starts talking to me about how much he likes me, and how he likes that I take care of him, and started talking about him being a pile of shit that treats me like a used dildo. I asked him what had gotten into him and you know what he said?" You shrug your shoulders to tell him you don't know. "He said that you told him to tell me how he feels. He was so embarrassed to have taken advice from you." He laughs at that fact, and you giggle as well. Your giggle dies down and you stare blankly at the dodgeball again when Brian puts his hand on your back. "Seriously, (Y/N). You're a great person. I feel like I owe you a lot." "You don't owe me anything. I'm just glad I was able to help." You give Brian a genuine smile, and he gives one back. You hear a voice from the game scream, "Look out!" You turn your head over to see a dodgeball flying towards you. It hits Brian in the face, causing his head to be knocked off. As multiple people rush up to help him, you see Scott darting in the opposite direction. Without even thinking, you get up and run after him.

You run around the hallways, looking for any sign of him. You start running out of breath, but you can't take the time to stop, you have to find him. You look up and down every hallway, until you eventually see him frantically trying to open a locker, your locker. You get closer to him, and hear his restrained sobbing. You tap his arm, and he immediately shuts up. You look eachother in the eyes and you ask him, "What's going on with you?" You looks down to the floor, seemingly in embarrassment. You grab his hands, he looks you in the eyes again and you add, "I'm worried." He sniffles and lightly smiles. His smile dies down and he says, "I threw that ball at Brian." You rub his cheek, "Why?" "I don't know. The way he made you smile, I just felt weird about it." "Were you jealous?" You flash a smirk. "A little.. I also felt bad.." "You're not afraid he'll take me from you, are you?" He shrugs his shoulders, "It wouldn't be the first time he.." Your smirk instantly fades. "The first time he what?" He looks away again, this time embarrassment is painted all over his face. He covers his mouth, as if he said something horrible. "Scott? Tell me what happened." He shakes his head 'no'. "Scott, please." He shakes his head again. You firmly grasp his hand, and he breaks, "The first time he's fought someone over someone else!" "Huh?" "Him, and Oz, and Vicky, and Amira.. They used to compete with eachother a lot over someone! It's like it was a game to them, they've hurt people's feelings, they've hurt my feelings. And then when one of them won, they'd.." Scott runs away again, and you can't catch up. No matter how hard you try, he's just too fast. You give up once the bell rings, and head back to the lockerroom. You walk in, feeling swiftly defeated. People try to ask what happened with Scott, but it's no use. You shut yourself completely away from everyone, and go the rest of the day silent. Scott isn't seen for the rest of the day, and many days afterwards. The entire time, you seclude yourself. You stop eating, keep cutting, and wither away. You feel like you're right back to where you started when you first came to Spooky High. Alone and afraid.