homesick ☆ f.weasley

.:45:.

Vivienne released Emmeline and she fell to the ground with a thud. Emmeline gasped for air as though she had been plunged deep under water. Vivienne stood, frozen. Emmeline wondered what would happen next. She had never seen fury and intent that prominent in anyone's eyes before. Vivienne did really believe that this was the only way out. Vivienne slipped down a shelf and was crouched on the floor, her head in her hands. Slowly, Emmeline crept towards the door. She reached out a trembling hand and touched the golden door handle. It was cold to the touch, contrasting to her clammy hands.

"I'm going to be expelled, aren't I?" Vivienne asked quietly. Her sudden enquiry made Emmeline jump. Hesitating, Emmeline pondered through the variety of options she could reply with. Though Vivienne was now calm, Emmeline didn't want to ignite another storm within her. On the other hand, she wanted to prove to Vivienne that she was no longer the invisible girl, who would treat everyone like shit and allow them to treat her the same way. She knew she had to try and do something with the knowledge she had; she couldn't just decline Cedric of a justice he deserved.

"Most certainly. You can't just hurt people when they upset you," Emmeline inhaled. Her eyes flickered onto Vivienne. Had she touched a nerve?

"I can't just un-learn everything I've never known. This is normal in my family and amongst my friends."

Emmeline paused, worrying about what dark secrets Slytherin domainted and pure blood prestigious families held. How much of a nightmare must it be if Vivienne thought her behaviour was normal?

"Just because it's all you know doesn't make it right," Emmeline pointed out. Beneath her, she could no longer see Veronica's wing woman, who was willing to murder to keep her status. She saw a trembling girl - a little girl - lost and broken. It tugged on her heart strings.

"I don't know what's right anymore. You have it easy. You have no one to tell you who you have to be. You have picked your own friends and boyfriend and-"

Emmeline sat beside Vivienne. Though she had just tried to kill her, it felt like the right thing to do, to be comforting her. "You don't get to pick your friends or who you date?"

Vivienne laughed and shook her head fiercely. "When I was little, my parents picked who I played with. 'No filthy mudbloods!' they'd say. I could only be friends with people with an immaculate pure blood heritage."

"That must have been difficult, being forced to judge people on something they can't control and not understanding why," Emmeline commented, rooting through her cloak pocket and pulling out a napkin so Vivienne could dry her eyes.

"I don't even know how to make friends, every relationship I have built is based off manipulation. That was until I met you, you weren't falling for it."

"Sometimes the right decision can feel like the wrong one because of how hard it is to do."

"I'm not going to change. It's too late."

"I've been through about twelve personality changes this year! You're only young, it's normal to not have a clue who you are. Especially if the people around you are so controlling and that's all you've known."

Vivienne sighed. "I don't even like what I wear or how I dress, I'm just told by Veronica what I should like."

"You do look pretty stupid." Emmeline instantly regretted what she said as Vivienne's face rearranged into a scowl. She breathed a sigh of relief when the Slytherin laughed. Properly laughed. It sounded so foreign; like something she rarely did. "Real friends won't care what you look like."

"Veronica is my real friend." From her tone, Emmeline suspected she was more trying to convince herself of that fact.

"Okay," Emmeline said, the elongation of her vowels explicitly implying she didn't believe her.

"These are the cards I've been dealt with. I can't have it all. Like you manage being boring and plain- looking."

"Gee thank. But you're not stuck, nothing is permanent. You can chose who you want to be."

"I am exactly who I want to be!"

"I think we both know that's not true."

"Don't start giving me life lessons and getting inside me head, thinking you know me when you don't. I'm going to hand myself in. And when I come back, you better be ready for me to resume my place as queen bee of this school, got it?"

Emmeline sighed. She had experienced a glimpse of what being Vivienne was like, that being one of the most adored, beautiful girls at Hogwarts had its detrimental qualities. She was so close to disbanding the vicious popularity rank but Vivienne's blurred perception of morals was too engraved in her. It wouldn't change so easily. Emmeline should have felt relieved that the girl didn't choke her to death but strangely she guilty that she couldn't save Vivienne from herself. Fred had saved her by constantly pointing out how completely stupid she was being for chosing Veronica and popularity. Maybe Vivienne just needed someone to be that committed to her as Fred was with Emmeline.

Vivienne snatched the tissue back and dabbed her eyes with it. She tugged on her ponytail, tightening the puffs that had blossomed around her face from her brawl with Emmeline. She fixed her emerald tie too and reestablished the fire and fury in her eyes. Without another word, she picked herself up off the dusty floor and charged out of the room, leaving Emmeline by herself. Exhausted, Emmeline tossed her head back, resting it on a stack of shelves behind her. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry at how eventful and simply absurd the past few days had been. She didn't even notice Snape shuffle into the cupboard. This year, Emmeline desired to live not just exist. And this certainly counted as truly living.

"Walshaw, what the hell are you doing in my potions cupboard?" he demanded coldly.

Emmeline offered him a weak smile. "You wouldn't even believe me if I told you."