Loose Ends

Chapter 5

         No... impossible... he's not dead! It's simply not possible, he's only two! But it was very much possible, and it had happened. I felt as if I was about to throw up. How could I have let this happen? I'm a mother, it is my only job to protect my children, and I have failed miserably with one of them. Celestia laughs in my face, spits on his cold body lying on the floor, and leaves the body right where it is. Rage seeps through me, but as I try to attack her, I am restrained by these stupid chains that I so naively agreed to be tied in.

As her other two bodyguards drag the body onto my lap, spit as well, and then leave, I feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I promised myself! I promised myself I wouldn't cry because of my enemy, but I couldn't even keep that promise. A lone tear escape my eye as I try to blink the rest of them aggressively. The taste of the salty water in my mouth reminds me of all the deaths I have witnessed. Prim, Rue, Finnick... they all died because of the games, because of a Snow. I thought I had finally defeated my enemy, yet here I sit, my lips trembling, with my dead son's body in my lap.

I really did try but I couldn't contain myself. I let myself start to sob, shaking as I put my head against my son's. How could I?! I couldn't protect him from the evil in this world! There is a better place, there is a better place, there IS a better place. I remind myself about how I once said 'I'm never having kids.' But no, I don't regret Rye's life. Rye and Willow have probably been the best things that have happened to me. Tears continue to fall off my cheeks onto Rye's neck and my mind starts to wander, replaying old, fond memories of my son.

I remember the first time the doctor's handed him to me. His little hands stretching out, like he knew I was his mother. His tiny body, fitting perfectly into my arms. Cradling him, knowing my motherly instincts have kicked it. Planting kisses on his little nose and soft face. He was so innocent, so perfect, so small, and he left this world the same way.

I remember his first word, "Willow". I was so happy, he and his sister were showing an evident bond, but I also remember Peeta's slight jealousy. Willow's first word was "Peeta". And although he himself won't admit it, I definitely remember her pointing at the bread in the corner of the bakery.

I remember Rye's first steps, and how proud I was as Peeta clapped while he walked towards me. His little smile, which lit up the whole room, was bright as ever, and I couldn't help but smile back at him.

I remember singing him a lullaby, the same lullaby that brought Prim and Rue so much comfort, every single night, before he went to bed, and his little eyes, looking at me, sparkling and healthy.

I remember every little detail, every happy memory, every sad memory, every angry memory, every simple memory. Or maybe I just remember every single memory of his life, because now that's all that it is. His life is a memory. After around 5 mins of sniffling, I start to bawl again at the thought. I stroke his soft hair to calm myself as my eyelids get heavy, my vision turns into little dots, and I drift off to sleep, the sticky tears stuck on my face.

a couple hours later

As I slowly start to regain consciousness, I think I am hallucinating when I hear Effie's voice. I open my eyes slowly and realize that I am no longer lying on Rye's body, instead my head is rested on the cold floor. I turn my head around to check out my surrounding and see them. There sits my husband, completely expressionless, hugging his dead son's body as Effie comforts him by tapping his shoulder. I weakly ask for him. "Peeta." But he does not reply. He carefully place Rye's body on the floor, crawls over to me, and starts to untie the chains.

As my arms and legs are finally let free, without second thought, we simply hug each other and start to cry. Peeta's tears falling on my shoulder make the situation ten times harder for me to bare. We sit there, for a good ten minutes, before I hear the door open and a familiar, nauseating snicker fill the air.