Slow Grenade

Chapter Fifty-Nine

They tried not to let the confrontation with Ron ruin the rest of their afternoon, but this proved challenging. Draco had become sullen and withdrawn and Hermione couldn't stop ruminating about everything that had been said. To some extent she understood Ron's response; he would have been shocked, and she was sure his reaction was borne out of concern for her.

However, from experience, Hermione also knew just how long Ron's moods could last for and so she was decidedly not looking forward to spending Christmas between Grimmauld Place and the Burrow. It was going to be painful enough without her parents, and now one third of their trio was furious with her.

After some last-minute Christmas shopping and a brief drink at the Three Broomsticks, Hermione and Draco decided to head back to Hogwarts. It had become progressively colder and she shivered, pulling her robe more tightly around her. Draco silently cast a Warming Charm and tucked her into him.

"You know when you mysteriously said you had 'sorted it' with your parents," Hermione said as they walked. "What exactly did you mean?"

Draco huffed and a plume of white steam drifted from his mouth. "Well, my father has enough years in Azkaban to come to terms with it, and my mother actually already knew – " Hermione made to interrupt, shock etched across her face, but he scowled and she reluctantly indicated for him to continue. "She already knew because when I got the Mark, my Occlumency shields were down and she saw you."

"What happened?" Hermione asked, eyes wide.

"At the time, she said I needed to stay away from you, to keep us both safe," he frowned. "And we know how well that went. Anyway, I wrote a letter last week, to let her know that I was planning on courting you publicly."

She couldn't help but flush at the old-fashioned term. "And what was her response?"

"That if it makes me happy, it's fine with her. I don't think it was particularly unexpected anyway, given what she already knew, as well as my response when you were... at the Manor." Draco shook his head, as if trying to rid himself of the memories.

"There wasn't anything you could do, you know that."

Hermione could see the pulse throbbing in his neck as he said, "Weasley wasn't entirely wrong though, was he? I was weak, I've always been weak. I should have been able to help you." Draco gave a hollow laugh, "I'm surprised he didn't mention that I also almost killed him and Bell."

"You didn't have a choice," she argued.

They'd stopped walking now, despite the bitterly cold wind. Hermione gazed up at him as his eyes grew darker and he stood rigid and tense.

"I did, though," he said quietly. "You tried to help me, even – even Snape did. But no, I refused. Thought I could do it by myself."

"You were doing what you felt was best for your family. Ron doesn't know the whole story: you're a good person who, yes, maybe could have done some things differently, but you deserve the chance to move on and – "

"I don't deserve that, I don't deserve to be happy," he snapped, lifting his arms helplessly before gesturing to Hermione, "and I certainly don't deserve you."

"Stop," she shouted, louder than intended. "Stop this." He looked at her in surprise and she carried on, "I know you've not said very much about what it was like here last year, but I've heard bits and pieces from Ginny and Neville. From what it sounded like, you tried your best to help those who needed it. You have been forced into awful situations that no person, let alone a child, should find themselves in."

Slipping her hands beneath his warm robe, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled their bodies tightly together. "You, Draco Malfoy, are one of the most stubborn, frustrating, ridiculous, dramatic – "

"Are you trying to make me feel worse, Granger?" he grumbled into her hair.

"Sorry, I got carried away," she chuckled, poking his ribs. "But, you are also protective, fiercely loyal, intelligent, funny. You've been there for me time and again, and I love you, so much."

Draco was silent for a while, his breathing uneven, and Hermione was sure the top of her head felt damp.

Eventually, he said quietly, "I can't lose you again."

"You never lost me, Draco."

The Christmas period passed much as Hermione had imagined it would. She missed her parents desperately and struggled without the routine and structure that Hogwarts provided. Although Ron refused to speak more than a few words to her at a time, he had been more cordial than she expected; Hermione wondered whether this might have been Ginny's influence.

Having made the decision that it wouldn't be fair on anyone to sleep in the same bed as Harry anymore, she had been concerned about the nightmares that would inevitably pursue her. However, each night she would feel her ring heat up and the words 'u r safe' would appear. It seemed that Draco had not forgotten his Muggle abbreviation techniques.

When January finally came around, Hermione was more than ready to return to Hogwarts. She arrived later than usual due to first stopping for tea with Hagrid, and so the castle was unusually quiet. Flying up the great stone steps and into the Entrance Hall, she strode quickly to the eighth-year common room. The holidays had allowed her time and space to reflect, and she knew that she was finally ready to give Draco everything.

He stood when he saw her, smiling hesitantly at her flushed face, and absently ran his fingers through his hair. Without preamble Hermione leapt into his arms, wrapping her legs around him. Draco gripped her firmly as she crushed her lips to his, swallowing the sound of her name. She moved away for a moment to catch her breath, but he pulled her back and kissed her again.

The sound of whoops and clapping brought her back into the room and, suddenly remembering where they were, Hermione blushed furiously and made to get down, but Draco held onto her tightly. Lifting his middle finger to their peers, he carried her upstairs and into his room.