Fires Collided

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"How did it go?"I chuckled."She blames me.What did you think?!Whatever the fuck she does and fails is my fault.She failed to be a mother and it's my fault because she lost the kid she was going to be a mother for.What the hell was I?I wasn't your therapist but I healed you.I wasn't your comforter but I was there for you.What I was...was a kid who just lost her baby brother.But who cares right?Who the fuck cares?"He wanted to hug me but I was too mad to do so."I-I can't stay here.I need air."My breathing was getting faster and faster by second.I was shaking and I was about to fall.I had no balance.Ralph caught me and sat on the floor with me.Hewrapped his arms all around me leaving me no space to shake or go.He stroked my hair and he contained me on his own."You have air.Just...breathe."I got big breaths and slowly gave them.I eventually fell asleep.I was tired.I was exhausted.I was drained.

---

I'm tired of this.She doesn't deserve this.She just lost her father and her mother blames her?That's just selfish.I picked her up from the floor and put her to bed.I knew her dragons understood me so I got them.I explained it to them.I don't know if they understood but I told them.They went to her bedside.I called Dexter."It's midnight Ralph.What the hell do you want?"I rolled my eyes."Come over.I can't talk about this over the phone.""Is Rose alright?Did something happened?What happened?"I sighed."Something did happen.But not to her.Just come."

"Where is she?"I got him to the kitchen and poured a glass of whiskey for myself."What do you want?"He sighed."Whiskey is out.Pour another glass."I sighed and poured him a glass too."Tell me what happened then."I chugged my drink down and poured another."Damien died.""As in...Rose's father?"I chuckled."No my family gardener.Of course her father!"I sighed."When she went after him she was on her own.My idiot father wanted to take advantage of that but Damien saved her and died himself.I'm happy she's allive but she saw her dad die in front of her eyes.My mom died because of my father.Her dad died because of my father.Who's next?!Her mom?!Her grandparents?!You?!Her cousin?!"

I calmed down."I'm sick of this."Dexter was frozen."Her dad died and she gave away nothing.Nothing.She smiled.She laughed all dinner.She talked.She mentioned our emberassing memories but she was dying inside and I didn't notice."I sighed."I wouldn't have either if it wasn't for the flamekeeper."I sighed."Look Dexter...I may not like you but...I need your help."He drank his drink."You don't have to like me.You can hate me if you want but...she's my best friend."I nodded."I know that.""Where is she?"I pointed upstairs."She fell asleep while she was crying."He sighed."Call me when she wakes up.And even if she's asleep...don't leave her alone."He left and I went up to the room she was sleeping in.She was awake and she was sitting on the bed.Her knees bended."It's my fault."

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"It's not your fault!"I sighed and wiped my tears."It is my fault.If he didn't save me he would be alive."He chuckled."You'd rather be dead then have your father die?!"I nodded."Yes.I don't want people dying because of me anymore.First your mo-"He cut me off."That was my decision!"I sighed."You don't understand do you?It'll always be my fault.I'm the dark side remember?It'll always be my fault.Remi was my fault.I just couldn't contain myself.Your mom was my fault because your father made you make a choice and you just acted out on instict of protecting your other side.My fahter was my fault because I was the one who wasn't supposed to be here.It'll always be my fault."

"No.It wasn't.None of those were your fault.Remi didn't die because of you.You were just a nine year old girl.My mom died because I made my choice and I am glad it was you because I can't be without you!Your father died because of his love for you.Not because of you!You can't go around blaming yourself for other people's mistakes!My father's mistakes!"I knew he was right but I was too fucked up to believe him."I-I just wanna be alone."He chuckled."I'm not leaving you alone.Not now.Not ever.Especially if you're like this."I sighed."Like what?A frickin mess?"I grabbed a pen from the nightstand along with a paper."No.I know what you're doing.No.Don't do it Ro-"Then I sent him away."He just wants what's best for you baby."I turned to Babette."I know.I know very well."

Days went by.I locked myself in the house.I only left a couple times to the store to see if I can find uncooked fish for the siren egg.Like a week later from that night Dexter came knocking."I called Ralph but he didn't answer.I came here to give you this."He handed me a black envelope."Funeral invitation and information card?"I looked up to Dex."Come.He was your father."I sighed."I-I'll think about it."He sighed."I'll see you this afternoon if you do."I nodded and closed the door behind him.I took Ralph out of that pit I sent him to."Finally!"Then he looked around."It's morning.How many hours did you sent me away for?"I sighed."It's been a week."I couldn't look him in the eye."A week?"I nodded."You've been alone for a week?"I nodded and sighed as I handed the black envelope."Are you going?"

I turned around."I-I don't know yet.Dexter just gave it to me and I don't know what to do.I didn't go to Remi's.I-I don't want to regret not going to his funeral but...I don't think I can either."I looked him in the eye."I don't know what to do.All I have done is this whole week is cry,feed my dragons and bunny,sleep,go to the store to get food that I don't even eat!"I sighed."I can't go.I'm not going."

He sighed and tilted my head up as he rubbed my cheek with his thumb."Yes you are.You're going."I scoffed."Don't you see?!She doesn't want me there!I get an invitation from my best friend and not my own mother!She doesn't want me there.Besides...the whole funeral will be full of non-Dragondeth people who hates me just like my mom.I can't handle that."

"You can and you will.Go get dressed.I'll go get flowers.Ok?"I sighed."No."

"Yes."

"No Ralph."

"Yes."

I gave up and went upstairs to change and go to the funeral of my father Damien Edward Monroe.