Cute Voice

June 13

"Hi, Jason? I had a thought."

"Hey. Just fun fact, it's three in the morning right now."

"Yeah...I know. That's why I had a thought."

"Ah. That kind of thought. Okay, shoot."

"So say I have no friends."

"Ouch."

"Did that ouch mean you want to be my friend? Did you consider us friends?"

"No need to sound so hopeful, my dear. Wink."

"Nah, let's bring back the virtual to it."

"Will do. Virtual wink. So, say you have no friends except for the cute voice at the end of the line you really, really like. Might we say-"

"Oh my god, you're openly flirting now!"

"No shame."

"You should learn some!"

"And why is that?"

"Ugh, your impossible!"

"Smooth M'lady. Real smooth."

"So can I say my thought or should I just call my boyfriend to discuss it with him?"

"Woo, you're cheating on me now?" 

"Haha."

"You're voice is the epitome of amusement."

"Well, yours is the epitome of annoyance. Okay, I'm just going to talk before you interrupt me again-"

"I'm not the one interrupting!"

"..."

"Like-"

"So. My thoughts were about Katie."

"Oh god."

"Yeah. So we've been friends since like- I think it was fourth grade?"

"You're asking me?"

"No.  Ugh. Stop. How do you even have so much energy?"

"You're the gatorade in my marathon."

"..."

"..."

"Thats cute. Did you make that one up or you reading off a badly written romance novel whenever you talk to me?

"We are a badly written romance novel."

"We're a romance novel? Ew, Jason, no!"

"Ouch."

"We're like a kindergarten writing essay, if anything."

"Nah, any author would have to be a genius to write me."

"To write me, you mean."

"Eh..."

"All right, antagonist-"

"-Hey!"

"-So, I know Katie since I was little and she's not always been the best friend. But, like, is it worth it to give her another chance?"

"My magical powers say..."

"Haha."

"...No. Definitely no. Make other friends instead. I've heard boys make the best friends."

"Please."

"Sure!"

"Not that kind of please. A puh-lease kind of please."

"Yeah, Shelly. I know."

"So, why not, though?"

"Because I get that she might be able to have a lot of fun with you and there's probably all of these sides of her she doesn't show much that you remember from her childhood and you like, but Shelly! I'm, like, guessing you do not need that in your life right now."

"Well...the only thing you know about her is that she loves to be in style."

"As you have memorably seared into my brain. It was floral underwear, right?"

"Shut it."

"Virtual wink, My Dear Lady. And, no, I know her a little better than that.Remember I pranked her?"

"I actually forgot about that. That's really-*yawn*- w-wierd though."

"...Are you tired?"

"Why did your voice just go all soft and gentle?"

"No. Nope. The connection just cut out."

"M-hm."

"Listen b-Shelly. You go to sleep. I swear good things are coming. Talk tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"Good night, M'Lady."

"Good night, antagonist."