Cute Voice

July 13 (1:36 pm)

Jason/ Shelly/ Random man from the bus

"Hey-"

"Hi-"

"Wait- don't talk yet."

"..."

"..."

"Um...Jason? What am I waiting for?"

"Oh my shoelaces! You're on the phone, son aren't you? You are! Who is it this time? Pray tell!"

"That."

"Who is that? Wait, is that you're dad?"

"*Retch*"

"Are you chocking?! ARE YOU CHOKING?"

"No, I'm already dead"

"What do you mean?Wait, are you choking? Who's yelling in the background?"

"You don't look so dead to me"

"Forget it. What's up, babe?"

"...Babe?"

"Oh-"

"That's your perfectly hurt girlfriend you never met, right? I mean you wouldn't call your mom 'babe'."

"Please, man, I'm trying to talk over here..."

"Jay, are you there?"

"Yeah. Me and Nose Man."

"Who's Nose Man?"

"Gosh, M' Lady, you really need to work on your gullibleism."

"Why did you call me babe?"

"Auditory hallucinations."

"What?"

"What?"

"Most commonly experienced by schizo's. Its an overactive auditory cortex, see, that's the part of the brain that processes sound,"

"Huh?"

"Jay..."

"No, listen- it causes random sounds and speech fragments being generated. You imagined it. I never said that."

"You definitely said it."

"I don't know who that, but I'm lost. Can we move on now? I'll pretend you never  said that."

"B-Shelly.."

"Yeah?"

"Nothing. How has you morning been? Nothing major happened, like a hot guy telling you he's in love with you, right?"

"Ooooh...You just called yourself hot. Bad move, son. Bad move."

"Did you-"

"-Shut up, please!"

"What?"

"All right, all right..."

"No, not you, Shelly. The other person."

"Is this a bad time?"

"I's a very bad time. I sleep for like three minutes. On a bench. Next to someone with this smell-"

"So I'll hang-"

"No, no, you misunderstood me. It's a bad time. So there's no one I'd rather be talking to right now."

"..."

"Awwww."

"Can we talk about this morning?"

"-Yes. We have like sixteen hours left to talk. No probably more. Its seventeen driving straight-"

"Like tonight or something?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure."

"Oh no. Did she just break your heart? You look so sad..."

"You look sad? That's so cute!"

"I've been told I'm good at looking hot, cool, and heartbreaking all at once."

"You have?!"

"By...who?"

"My- nobody!!"

"Aren't you nobody?"

"I-"

"Honestly, I'm freaking out right now."

"I know."

"Really? Shoots, I'm that obvious?"

"No-"

"Yeah, VW, you're just that awesome you can read minds and all that stuff...egotistic jock."

"Ouch. Who said I was going to say all of that? And what's VW, Volkswagen?"

"No, virtual wink."

"Oh. That's kind of clever. I'm impressed. But really, Shelly, you don't have to self-sabotage because you think your not worthy of me and you definitely don't have to add feeling guilty over insulting me to your plate now."

"I- why would you-"

"Shhhh. The volume of my phone is all the way down, so I can't hear you anyway, even if your talking."

"No it isn't, you just made it louder! I saw!"

"That's dishonest."

"Tell me what's wrong."

"It's Katie."

"Or, one of the things are Katie."

"Is."

"Are."

"Is."

"Go on."

"Huh? Whatever. I want to call her to talk to her, but I don't know how to and I'm freaking out and I need someone to- but no one could help-"

"Call her with me."

"What?"

"Call her with me on the phone."

"But-"

"I'll go on mute, but you'll know that I'm there."

"I don't know..."

"Trust me."

"I do."

"Woah, I didn't ask you to marry me yet!!!"

"Did she just propose to you?"

"I didn't mean it like that!! What even?"

"I-"

"He-"

"I'm hanging up."

"But-"

"I'm going to call you back, and then click her in, but you must go on mute. Got it?"

"You betcha."

"..."

"..."