Broken But Then Fixed - H2OVanoss

Chapter 18: Don't Push Me Away

Thank you ithurtsmeyaknow! :D North Carolina, got it.

Delirious' POV

We were on our way to Lui's house, San Diego in California. He told us everyone would get there at the same time as we did. Evan rented a car because I'm not good with heights and getting a taxi from Carolina and take us all the way there? Now that's too much. Evan was driving, we had the radio on, not really talking. I just pushed the passengers seat back and laid down. Thinking. I didn't bring my mask and I was terrified, what will the guys think of me?

'Maybe they will think you're hideous.'

'Yeah, maybe they'll even tell Evan to dump an ugly loser like you.'

Why won't they go away? I don't need this right now. I have bigger things to worry about. Is it because I'm going to put up with Tyler and Marcel for the weekend? Why did I even say yes? Oh right.. Because I was the one who wanted to go on this stupid vacation.. Evan was the one trying to get me to stay. But I convinced him that everything will be alright althought I have trouble believing in my own words.

"I'm taking a nap.." I said, slowly closing my eyes.

~

Vanoss' POV

I sighed as I pulled up in Lui's driveway, there was cars in his driveway, I'm guessing that its the gang. It's 1am and I am tired as hell. I looked over to the passengers seat and shook Johnathan to wake up, he's been asleep the whole time. He groaned and rolled over looking at me, I giggled a tiny bit. He looked so cute when he's tired. "We're here. Come on, I'll text Lui. Him and the gang should all be up still." He didn't say or do anything, he looked so nervous all of a sudden. I took his hand and held it tight, "Don't worry. I'll be right next to  you when we walk in. Don't be scared, I'm here." He smiled a bit, "Okay Evan. Come on."

I pulled out my phone and texted Lui, 'Yo! I hope your ass is still awake or your all about to wake up due to banging on your front door.'

Seconds later, Lui texted back. Wow, that was fast.

'Don't do that! Wildcat and Nogla are sleeping. I'm coming.'

I looked at Johnathan and he nodded. We both stepped out of the truck and walked up to Lui's house. Johnathan took my arm and buried his face in my chest, "Shh, it's going to be okay." I  reassured him.

Once we reached the front door as it cracked open. Lui peaked his head out with a bright smile on his face, "Heyyyy guys." He said observing us while opening the door welcoming us in. "Hey Lui, how's it going?" I said walking in pulling Johnathan with me. "Nothing really. Everyone was about to pass out. Wildcat and Nogla are on the couch as we speak."

"You don't look tired though."

Lui snickered, "Well of course not! I don't go to bed until like five in the morning, dude."

I smiled and looked down, seeing Johnathan letting go of me. Lui looked at him, with a smile on his face. But than he made a pouty face, "God damnit Delirious! Are you like an inch taller than me? No fair!" Lui cooed, " W-What?" Johnathan bumbled. I wrapped an arm around him and just kissed his cheek.

"Hey Lui, I'm really tired. Where are we sleeping?" I asked while yawning. "Oh yeah. Your bedroom is upstairs, down the hallway first door on the left. The bed is already made up. Have fun." He said and I nodded, I looked at Johnathan and he looked nervous still, has if we should turn back. I wasn't about to though.  "Del, are you okay?" Lui asked before we could go upstairs. Johnathan looked at him and nodded. We left Lui downstairs with a frown on his face.

Once we reached our room, I opened it and jumped on the bed. It felt like laying on a cloud. I watched Johnathan as he closed to the door and walked to the bathroom that was in our room. What is he doing? "John, babe, what are you doing?"I was too tired to get up.

No response.

"Johnathan..?"

Nothing.

"Delirious?!" I got up out of the bed and ran over to the bathroom, he was there just staring at himself in the mirror. Oh thank god. He turned to me, "I'm fine.. Just go to bed."

I narrowed my eyes at him, I was tired but I can tell when he's actually fine. "If you're upset right now, tell me. I can sleep in a few with you in my arms." I said grabbing his hand.  "The voices are winning." He sighed. I shook my head repeatedly, "No they aren't. Not as long as I'm here."

"You can't do anything though. They used to go away whenever you were near, but now they don't care."

I felt tears start to form in my eyes, "Delirious, please.. I-" He cut me off and walked out of the bathroom, "Lets just go to bed. I don't wanna talk anymore." I stood there for a minute staring at him as he crawled into the bed. 

'He's not letting you in anymore, is he?'

I didn't move from my position. I just stared at him from afar. He stared out the window, you could see his eyes start to water. I just stared at the ground balling up my fists.

He isn't.

I walked over to the bed and laid down next to him. His back was facing me. "Delirious, please don't do this to me.." I whispered, my voicing cracking a bit. I felt helpless as the silence grew longer and all you could hear his mine and his sniffing.

'Don't just lay there crying! Get him to talk to you.'

"Delirious. Please talk to me."

"Can I at least try and make it better?"

"Ignoring me will only make me keep trying."

He turned around and stared at me. "Okay.." He whispered. I took his hand and held it as he explained everything that was happening in his mind.

The demonic voices only came back because Tyler and Marcel were here. I figured. Johnathan promised me that he wouldn't do anything stupid, and that if he's about to lose his mind he'd come to me. Which is good. I don't want him to push me away again.

~

Delirious' POV

"Delirious, come on. Everyone is getting ready to go out in the woods." Evan said opening up the door. I grabbed my bag and followed Evan. This was it. Everyone gets to see whats behind the mask now. Cartoons, Lui and Evan are the only ones that know what I look like. I wonder how everyone else will react. Once we reached the bottom of the steps, everyone was standing with their bags just talking to each other by the front door. I hide behind Evan and grabbed his shirt, he turned around and gave me a warm smile at me.

God dammit Evan.

"Oh hey Vanoss an- Delirious?" Nolga said, getting everyone's attention on me. I took a deep breath and walked forward, "Hey guys." I said quietly rubbing my neck staring at them.

Cartoons came around smiling and we brofist, "Finally don't have the mask. What made you do it?" He asked, everyone was still watching me, speechless as ever. I didn't say anything, I just pointed to Evan and Cartoons smiled at him.

"Okay! Lets go guys. It takes an hour or two to get there and I want to set up camp early." Lui said walking out the door. Evan took my hand and pulled me outside, I walked past Tyler and Marcel and we all made eye contact.

I hope nothing goes wrong...