You & I The Flash

Chapter 19

Caitlin woke up the next morning and couldn't remember when she had fallen asleep. Cisco had dropped her off home after asking her if she wanted to sleep over at his.
She declined, wanting to be alone. She tried to go to sleep but every time she closed her eyes, Savitar kept appearing.
Caitlin got out of bed to see 3 missed calls and 2 messages from Barry.

Hey. We're not expecting you to come to work today, but just know that we're here for you if you need us.

Caitlin? Are you still asleep, talk to me.

Caitlin sighed and set the phone down. She wanted to put on a brave face, but she knew she couldn't. She went to the bathroom to take a hot shower.
When she came back, she saw Savitar on her bed.
She dropped the comb in her hand and stepped back in surprise.
"You-you're not real," she stated slowly.
"No one said I was," he smiled softly.
"What's happening?" Her lip quivered. The person sitting on her bed looked so much like the man she loved, she could feel her heart about to shatter all over again.
"I'm here to tell you that it's okay."
She knew it wasn't real and she was probably going crazy, but she ignored all of it and sat next to him on her bed.
She slowly touched his cheek,
"How do you feel so real?"
He leaned into her touch and said,
"I don't want to see you like this."
"I don't know what to do," she said shaking her head.
He wiped the tears away from her face,
"Caitlin. I'm okay with dying. I need you to be okay with it too."
"I can't. I love you," she shrugged, "you didn't deserve to die."
"Hey. I'm sorry I broke my promise about staying with you, but make me a promise; promise me you'll go to work. Don't let me hold you back on doing amazing things. I love you Caitlin Snow."
At this point, she was sobbing and closed her eyes hard, to try and stop. She smiled and opened her eyes, only to find him gone.
Caitlin got dressed and went to Star Labs, where everyone was shocked to see her. Iris welcomed her with a enormous bear hug; Joe, Barry, and Cisco followed.
"You didn't have to come, you know," Cisco said.
"I had to. It's what he would've wanted." She turned to Barry,
"I'm sorry I couldn't respond to your calls, I woke up late," she apologized and he waved his hand like it wasn't a big deal,
"I'm just glad you're okay. We were just talking about Nick and what we're going to do."
Just the sound of his name made Caitlin's skin boil, but she took a deep breath and calmly said,
"Where are the four?"
"Lounge." Joe replied and she left the cortex.
In the lounge, she saw all four magical beings confused and scared.
"Caitlin, hi," James was the first one to notice her and one by one, they started to ask questions.
"What the hell happened?" Renée asked.
"I don't seem to remember." Isaac said confused, while Ryan sipped coffee quietly.
Caitlin sat across from them and sighed.
"Look, guys. What you've been through was horrible and I hate that I have to say this, but you all deserve the truth." She spent the next hour or two telling them about meta humans, Nicholas Gibson, they're magical origins, and why Nick wants them so bad.
"And that's pretty much it."
"Why didn't you tell us before," Ryan asked.
"I know, you're probably mad at us for that, but all we wanted was to keep you safe, and away from Nick, but well," she shrugged.
"Thanks for tell us," James said.
"But we do need some time to process," Renée made a face of discomfort.
"Hey, Caitlin?" Ryan asked.
"Hm?"
"We heard about Savitar, I'm sorry."
"Thanks," Caitlin smiled and as she sat there, she saw Savitar at the balcony and walked towards him.
"I'm proud of you."
She rested her hands on the bar of the balcony,
"Thanks," she smiled and looked ahead at the city lights.
"Hey," Caitlin turned around to see Barry, hands crossed and leaning against the wall.
"Hi."
He walked over beside her and for a moment, neither said anything.
"How are you holding up?"
"As anyone would be. I honestly don't know."
"I get that. I-I wish there was something I could've done."
"Don't blame yourself, Barry. It was no ones fault except for Nick's and he'll get what he deserves."
"Look, if there's anything I can do.."
"Thanks, but I'm sure this is hard enough for you."
He sighed, "just when I thought I couldn't lose more, it's like a part of me died too."
They both gave each other a tight hug.
Caitlin and Barry went back to the cortex and saw Iris and Cisco discussing something.
"Where's Joe?" Barry questioned.
"Work." Iris replied.
"What are you guys talking about?" Caitlin asked.
"A way on bringing Savitar back," Cisco said.
"What?"
"What about the Lazarus Pit?" Cisco asked, ignoring Caitlin's question.
"What? No. You remember Sara and how she was without a soul," Iris said.
"Okay, but we can try and stop it from going that far this time, we can-" Cisco and Iris continued to talk and question each other's ideas.
Barry and Caitlin looked at one another in confusion.
"Guys," Caitlin said softly, but they didn't hear her.
"Guys!" She said coldly in Frost's voice, which caught their attention.
"What are you guys doing?"
"Caitlin, look," Cisco explained, "Savitar was our friend too. He deserves a chance at life, we're not going to stop until we find a way."
"He was from the future, maybe we could use that?" Iris asked and Cisco nodded.
"Guys!" Caitlin shouted again.
"We're not bringing him back. Savitar's gone and the sooner we accept that, the better we can we go on with life."
"But Caitlin..." Cisco said softly.
"No, Cisco. If we try and resurrect him just because we want him back, are we any better than Nick? Would you go so far to bring him back? This isn't what he would've wanted. We-we should plan a funeral ceremony, I can't keep his body frozen at the lab, he deserves a proper goodbye."
No one said a word and Caitlin walked out.
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