32|thirty two

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When JaeHwan saw his mother standing outside on the porch to receive him, he found himself in the month of May, 2003. He remembered his mother's shattered face, and the iron grip in her fingers, to the point it hurt JaeHwan's wrist. He didn't know then, how losing a child felt, how losing a soulmate felt. 

He saw her pale, trembling hands place a bunch of forget-me-nots on the columbarium and turn away, like curtains dropping down after a story has been told. He saw eleven years pass and the lines on his mother's face grew graver and deeper, permanent scars cut across her once youthful face, lined by grief and tacendic tragedy. 

"Hwan," she smiled when JaeHwan set his bags down and leaned down to offer a hug, "was the flight good?" 

She then turned to JungWon and hugged him, patting the boy's pink hair for a time longer than necessary. 

"Come in, I've been waiting for you all day," she stepped in the house, her dress and face utterly disregarding the usual norms of a chaebol wife. There were no maids to assist her, the reason why Han Segye's hands were always coarse and lined with charcoal stick dust under her fingernails. 

"What's your schedule?" She asked when she had both the boys settled on the sofa. 

"The rest of the team's in a hotel with the coach," JungWon said, "so we probably won't be staying here long." 

"Why?" JaeHwan's mother furrowed her brows immediately. "How dare I let the school pay expenses. I will sponsor this trip." 

"Eomoni," JaeHwan started, but had to back down when his mother raised her hand in a tone of finality. 

"The Head Boy's mother should do something. I haven't even shown my face in the ladies group since the beginning of the semester. Otherwise everyone will say you're from a cheap family." 

JaeHwan's mother was a social reject. Not that she was disagreeable or thought of herself too highly to be one of her crowd, but simply because JaeHwan's mother did not talk much outside of her office and family. She stopped being who she was eleven years ago. Since then, everything colorful about her faded to a nameless black.
JaeHwan never understood why that was, until he saw his mother's eyes and found his own reflection staring back at him. 

"Where's Abbeoji?" JaeHwan craned his neck up, scrunching his nose distastefully at the lavish chandelier hung above. The house was too grand for him, it's yellow crystal lights and dome arch of the central ceiling— too compact and suffocating — totally the opposite of Kim Mansion back in Seoul. 

 JaeHwan's mother seemed to read the question on his face. "I dislike it too. But I decided to not touch it since we're going to leave in a couple months anyway. Your father will be back home in a few hours, so let's get you settled for now." 

"Thanks Auntie." JungWon grinned, sticking a finger heart to his cheek. "You're the best." 

Segye cringed. "Just go inside. And don't you boys have to like, go out with your team to have your spirits uplifted whatever? You have your matches the day after tomorrow, right? Tell me if you need anything!" 

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