1.1 | Desiderium ✓

55|fifty five

After JaeHwan was discharged and came back home, Shin found something odd. If he spoke in hushed tones, JaeHwan wouldn't react. When his mother called him from downstairs, JaeHwan didn't reply back. In both the cases, JaeHwan either used to reply instantly and say, "I heard you." Or something witty and charming. 

But now, unless spoken very near to him or spoken very loudly from anywhere in the room. Shin tried to not cry and see the range of JaeHwan's hearing, but ultimately, JaeHwan laughed in his face and said, "Shin-ah, sleep beside me, please?" 

Shin blinked, first thrown off at JaeHwan's disoriented voice. Then, he slowly walked to JaeHwan bed and curled up into a small, sad ball and let a few of his tears escape. 

His JaeHyung was partially deaf. Or until he was stable enough to have his skull and ear operated on. For the time being, he would just have some high end hearing aids fitted in his ears by the next evening. And that would help his hearing return back to normal. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Shin sniffled, his back turned to JaeHwan. 

JaeHwan's hand hovered over Shin's head, fingers curled a little inwards and hand stuck midair, just as conflicted as his heart. 

"You don't tell me things either," JaeHwan said quietly, despite not wanting to. 

"That's —" Shin stretched himself on the bed and turned his indignant face to JaeHwan, his cute nostrils flaring in what JaeHwan called mouse-y anger. Truly, Shin was adorable. "That's because you got hurt!" 

"I got hurt once, Shin-ah. You were hurting everyday." JaeHwan's and lowered down and cupped Shin's cheek, softly stroking away his tears by tracing his thumb from the corners of his eyes to his lips. It wasn't remotely resembling a mother's caress no — JaeHwan's thumb lingered at the corner of Shin's lips more than it should have, sometimes pushing and tracing his brittle nail along the outlines of Shin's pink lips, reminding him, telling him, that JaeHwan was a lover. 

His touches weren't detestable, and Shin didn't flinch or push his hand away. Perhaps because JaeHwan knew how much time he was allowed, or what were his limits. 

"Don't you feel put off by me?" Shin said in a whisper, face close to JaeHwan until their noses were bumping each other. 

"No," JaeHwan said, his black eyes baring his mind out in the open. "Doesn't make you any less attractive. Doesn't make me any less in love with you." 

"How can you say that so easily?" Shin's eyes teared up, and his hands clenched in fists before he pushed them to his collarbones, curling in on himself. 

"I don't know," JaeHwan sighed, "I got angry. Just… the one who should be angry is you, not me." 

"I am scared," said Shin. 

JaeHwan took his balled fists in his own hands and gently kissed his each knuckle, before looking him in the eye. "You don't really know who you have made to fall so terribly in love with you, you have no idea, do you?" 

Shin bit his lip and averted his gaze, still not quite able to reply something witty to JaeHwan pleasantly incessant but shameless flirting. He tried to pull his hand away, but JaeHwan's grip challenged him. Shin's ears coloured up, for he couldn't use his strength against JaeHwan's sprained hand. 

"But you're JaeHyung," Shin replied, feeling stupid. 

"Don't be scared," JaeHwan said, "as long as I am alive, no one, ever can do you any harm. That I promise." 

"But it says as long as you're alive!" Shin teared up again.

"You want me to be an immortal?" JaeHwan chuckled, putting Shin's hand on his cheek and closing his eyes. He basked in that warmth, that love. "That would be a bit inconvenient, don't you think?"