Chapter Forty-One:

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My songs finally started working again :)


Chapter forty-one:

Mason's POV
A/N: This is my first time ever writing a chapter in a Male POV. I know it's not great, but I have it my best shot  :)

I've made a lot of fucked up decisions in my current seventeen years on this earth

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I've made a lot of fucked up decisions in my current seventeen years on this earth. And it feels like with every one I make, somebody gets hurt in the process.

At least that's what I've observed.

If I hadn't thrown that party, I could've been with Sofia right now. Preferably in her, but that's the least of my worries. For now.

Trust me, I tried apologising to her. I fucking did. But the minute she answered my call, I pussied out. It wasn't that I was afraid of whether or not she would forgive me—it was the fear that even if she did forgive me and we remained friends, she would still get hurt in the end. And I hated the idea of anything or anybody hurting my girl.

So I had to get away, before I could do anymore damage. Fuck, it was hard. So fucking hard, but I told myself that if I really cared for her, I should give her a bit of space. Even if that meant flying to another country.

Kailani picked me up from the airport, and drove me to her house. I could've easily booked a hotel or something of the sort, but at that moment I needed Kailani. She was the only girl I knew that put up with my shit for this long, and I'm eternally grateful for her.

I told her everything on the ride to her house. Starting from how Sofia and I got on after we left the States, to how I drove her into a panic attack. And the entire time Kailani sat and listened, nodding her head in understating here and there.

I hated feeling this way. Emotional.

I fucking hated it.

I always kept my emotions bottled in, but I don't know. There was just something special about Kailani...I felt like she was the only person right now that could listen to my problems and help me figure them out. Even if she scowled at me for being a dick to Sofia, she was still understanding of everything I told her.

I've been staying at the guest room in her house for the past two days now, and holy shit I was a train wreck of emotions.

I was gloomy, lonely, angry, ashamed, and fucking horny.
I was so fucking horny it hurt. It hurt so fucking bad.

But it was no use. I didn't want to do anything sexual with any woman—and fuck—I didn't know why. Even when Gregg, Zac, and Jeremy tried to hook me up with a few chicks from their high school, I declined every offer. It felt wrong for some reason. I couldn't imagine doing anything with anyone unless it was Sofia, as selfish as it sounds.

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