When The Heart Breaks [COMPLETED]

KABANATA 20

KINABUKASAN ang huling araw ng concert. Masyado akong maagang umalis sa penthouse dahil kung magtatagal pa 'ko roon ay marami na naman akong maiisip ngunit ganoon lang din naman ang pagsisisi ko nang makarating sa studion ng sobrang aga. Six am, pa lamang at seven am pa ang rehearsal ng cosmic void. Dahil duon ay inabala ko na lang ang sarili ko sa pagsagot ng ilang emails, check ng mga papeles na natapos ko kaagad matapos ang trenta minutos.

I heaved a sigh and looked at the studio. Tumayo ako upang mabusising tingnan ang lahat ng naroon and from the glass division ay nasulyapan ko ang kabuoan ng station one kung saan may isang gitara at drums na nakalatag. Dahil wala pa namang tao ay pumasok ako roon. I traced the wooden finish of the drumstick and slammed it on the drums ngunit tila tanga naman akong nagulat sa sariling ginawa. I then went over the guitar, ito marunong ako nito, I chuckled and sat on the stool and picked it up.

I strummed it, once, twice, thinking of a song. Ano nga ba ang kantang puwedeng mag-describe ng nararamdaman ko ngayon? I suddenly cringed with the thought of my poem and video but then, ako lang naman ang nandito.

I started strumming that familiar song, thinking about a certain someone that I don't want to name dahil kasasabi ko lang kahapon na kakalimutan ko na siya. Hay nako Liberty ang rupok mo talaga.

"I'm so glad you made time to see me.

How's life? Tell me how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while.

You've been good, busier than ever.

We small-talk, work and the weather.

Your guard is up and I know why.."

Natawa naman ako nang marinig ang sarili. I'm not really a fan of my voice lalo na dahil na rin sa hindi naman ako laging nakanta. Occassionally lang, and that means when I'm broken hearted and tries to let it all out.

"Because the last time you saw me still burned in the back of your mind.

You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"

And I go back to December all the time.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.

I go back to December all the time.."

Natawa pa ako at nakagat ang aking labi nang may isang nota ang nawala sa tono dahil sa maling pagpuwesto ng aking daliri. "Damn.." hagikgik ko at nang maayos ang position ng daliri ay tsaka ako nakuntento, "Gan'to nga pala 'yun." And so I started strumming again.

"And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,

I watched you laughing from the passenger side.

And realized I loved you in the fall.

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"."

Why does love have to be complicated kaya 'no? I mean.. meron kayang mga taong nagmamahal ng hindi nasasaktan o walang mabigat na problema o kung meron man, maliliit lang. I wonder..

"I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile.

So good to me, so right.

And how you held me in your arms that September night: