Harboring Feelings >> Becstin

7

AUSTIN'S POV

I don't know what it was about her that drew me to her. Maybe it was her beauty. Maybe it was her laugh that would ring through the halls; letting people know what heaven sounds like.

"Who is she?" Becky asks, my ears listen for a hint of jealousy in her voice, but I only hear pure curiosity. I find myself a little disappointed.

"Who?" I ask.

"You know, the girl your writing songs for. Who is it?" She asks curiously.

"I-It's no one." I stutter.

"Do you write them for your girlfriend?" She asks.

"I don't have a girlfriend." I reply quickly.

"Oh. Why not? I mean are you..." She trails off.

"If your asking if I'm gay. I'm not." I laugh.

"Oh. Well, I would totally support you if you were." She says.

"Thanks, but I'm not gay. I just," I groan, "I'm ridiculously in love with an amazing girl that can never be mine. She doesn't even see me the way I see her." I say.

"How do you see her?" She asks blankly.

"I love her, I loveher. Becky, I'm so infatuated with this girl I mentally propose to her every morning I see her painfully beautiful face. And I know that I love her, because I've never felt this way with any girl in my life. I mean, yeah, I had girls in my past, but they can never measure up to her." I say truthfully, ironically right to her face.

"Is it someone I know?" She asks. I continue to dodge her questions with vague answers. We enter the loud lunchroom, but as soon as Becky and I pass each table on our way to retrieve our food, we seem to stop all the conversations. They must never seen Becky walk around with any other guy than Jimmy, so they're either judging her, or they're taking in the fact that I'mthe one who's walking next to her.

I, Austin Mahone, the ghost at this school. The guy always in the back of the classroom, the guy who is known by few, and talks to no one. The boy who has rumors made up by every airhead girl and every empty-headed jock in this school. They make up stories simply because they know nothing about me. That's why I never let them get to me. Becky is the only reason I'm even attending this school. If it was up to me I would be at home working on more complex things than these high school teachers can even dream up; but I can't control the person I fall in love with.

I bet they're making up more obnoxious rumors as Becky and I walk passed them. Most likely ones that involve me taking her away from Jimmy. I wouldn't doubt it if Jimmy confronts me about it tomorrow.

All the guys in this room are mentally cussing me out and killing me in 20 different ways in their minds. I can tell by the way they're all glaring at me while I simply smile at Becky. That's what I've been doing to Jimmy the entire duration of his relationship with Becky.

"Is she tall?" Becky asks when we sit down at an unoccupied table.

"Not to me." I answer. She huffs in annoyance. Her eyes wander the now crowded cafeteria. Conversations bounce off the walls, the jocks are throwing around a football in the middle of this packed room. I find myself getting annoyed when a girl at the table behind us screams, 'Holy shit I'm about to get hit!' every fucking time the ball is thrown in her direction.

"Is she pretty?" Becky asks.

"It's ridiculous how pretty she is." I say with a smirk. Becky looks around the room again.

It's none of them, Becky. It's you. It has been and always will be you.

"Does she have blonde hair?" She asks.