Harboring Feelings >> Becstin

26

AUSTIN'S POV

She sleeps soundly on the queen-sized bed. The only light coming from the hallway where I stand at the door, watching her. I hear her uneven breaths and whimpers fall from her lips. My heart crushes as I hear his name fall from her mouth. But, yet again I hear my name and the damage is repaired.

"She's going to remember everything, Austin." Luke says.

"I know, I know." I say.

"What about her? You know the girl-"

"She's long gone, Luke. Once I told her what business I was in she left without a good-bye." I say.

"Will Becky remember?" He asks me.

"Of course she will. Just gradually." I say.

"What if she tries to leave again?" Luke asks.

"Then, I'll tie her to the bed post." I say darkly.

"She wanted to leave for a reason, Austin." He says, "What if you were that reason?" His question fills my heart with worry.

"I'll make her stay, Luke. I will." I say to him.

The disabling of the program took a toll on her. She squirmed in her seat when I injected the antibodies into her neck. I could only imagine what pain her hippocampus is undergoing let alone the entire frontal cortex of her brain.

The program was still in its primitive state when Becky self-volunteered a year ago. She secretly got ahold of my entire set of tools for the program and injected herself with it. Well, at least that's what Mateo told me; she was already in Florida when she used the program on herself. We were going through a rough patch. I expected it to blow over, but I guess it only pushed her over the edge. I remember the day she said she said she was leaving. Her words echo through my head.

No, Austin. It will different this time.

"NO!" I hear Becky shout in her sleep. I'm instantly by her side.

"Becky?" I ask. She squirms.

"No! Stop!" She shouts. I see the tears stream down her closed eyes.

"Baby, please wake up." I mumble to her.

"Please, please stop." Her voice breaks. I feel my heart break also.

"Wake up, please. Wake up." I whisper to her as I hold her face in my hands.

She tries to push me away, but I'm still next to her. Her eyes snap open and she looks me in the eyes. I see relief fill her eyes.

"What happened?" I ask her. She shakes her head.

"It-it was horrible, Austin." Her voice shakes.

"What do you remember?" I quiz her.

"I-I don't-" She stutters.

"You'll remember eventually. I didn't want to overwhelm your brain; so we'll just have to wait it out." I explain to her. She whimpers as she lifts herself from the bed.

"Why did I even do this to myself?" She thinks out loud.

"I've asked myself the same question, everyday, for a year now, B." I tell her honestly.

"Wait. How long?" She asks me. She holds her head in her hands to suppress the pounding pain.

"Just get some rest. I'm going to get you some Tylenol." I instruct her.