Harboring Feelings >> Becstin

15

AUSTIN'S POV

I see Becky shut the door of her locker angrily. I cautiously walk up to her.

It's been a week since we went to the track, and I can't help but feel guilty for scaring her.

"Are you alright, B?" I ask her.

"I'm fine. I'm fucking fantastic." She spits.

I begin to go into panic mode when her narrowed eyes meet my confused ones.

"Did I do something?" I ask her.

"No, Austin. You didn't do anything." She sighs, and puts her forehead on her locker. She slams her head on it in frustration. My eyes widen at how loud the 'bang' was. "Ow." She whimpers.

"You okay there?" I ask her.

"I'm just tried." She says lamely and rubs her red forehead. I try my hardest not to laugh at how adorable she is.

"Tired of what?" I ask. She freezes. Her eyes meet mine and I swear I thought she was about to break down in front of me. But she quickly recovers and looks down at her shoes before any tears could spill.

"You always ask the right questions, Mahone. I'll give you that." She says quietly.

"What's wrong?" I ask sincerely.

"It's-it's well, it's everything." She replies.

The bell rings interrupts our conversation.

"We'll talk later." I say. She nods meekly.

In every class today I notice Becky is either zoning out half the time or writing in a journal.

Since when does she write in a journal? I used to know every single thing about this girl from her morning schedule to what she had for dinner, and I didn't know she has a journal?

Am...am I loosing my touch?

The day flies by and soon I'm waiting for Becky to finish up what ever she is scribbling down on her book. She finally puts her pen down.

"Do you need a ride home? I'm pretty sure most of the buses left, already." I say.

"If you don't mind. I'd really appreciate it." She offers a weak smile.

Why aren't you happy? You're eyes are sad, darling.

As we walk out the school's doors there is a few girls hanging around the premises. They glare at Becky, but she doesn't notice as she stares at her shoes.

"Hey! You ladies got a problem with your eyes or are you just rude?" I ask them breaking them out of their hateful gaze, they look up at me and instantly look away.

"Thanks." Becky whispers to me.

"No problem, ba-Beck." I say with a fake cough.

BECKY'S POV

As Austin drives I feel like I'm having an internal battle.

Should I tell him?

Will he understand?

Would he even care?

"So, what happened?" He asks. Glancing from the road to me, then back to the road.

"It's about Jimmy." I lie. Austin's grip tightens on the steering wheel and his jaw is tightened. If I didn't know any better I would think he was jealous.

"Are you going to get back with him?" He asks sharply.

"No." I reply in a harsh tone.

"Sorry, I just thought that - never mind. Forget what I said." He says, "What happened with Jimmy?" He asks.

"Him and my - well used to be friends are always...they're always just ugh." I can't put my feelings into words.

"They're talking a lot of shit?"

"Yes! But it's like I can't even... I don't know."

"You can't take it, but you know there's nothing you can do about it." He says.

"Yeah, and then like he just...and I know...fuck I don't know what I know." I say cursing at myself since I'm shit at communicating my feelings.

"He's just there tormenting you, but not really confronting you about it. He's basically hating on you behind your back. And then he has all his friends, and your friends on his side, because he's a manipulative fucker. Then, you just take it because if you did do something it would only look bad on your part." He says without looking at me.

"Yeah. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but it's just-"

"It's just that it does, and you don't want it to. You want to be strong. You want to be brave. You want to be resilient. You want to the type of person who doesn't let shit get to you." He finishes my sentence. I stare at him in awe.

"Can you get out of mind?" I laugh. He chuckles, but I swear I heard him mumble something like 'only if you get out of mine.'

AUSTIN'S POV

"I kind of miss your other car." Becky says.

"That wasn't mine." I say before I could take it back.

Oh fuck. I shouldn't have said that.

"Whose is it? A friend's?" She asks.

"A friend's." I lie.

∞

Not only was Becky unaware of Austin's infatuation with her, she was unaware of all the secrets that were kept from her. Not only from Austin, but from everyone around her. The visit to the track was only scratching the surface as to what was in store for her.

Austin never liked keeping his life hidden from her. But, if Becky knew too much he know what would happen to her. She would be sucked into his world like a black hole. God only knows what his colleagues were capable of. He was determined to keep her safe. He claimed her as his, and would do anything in his power to make sure no harm would come to her.

Poor Austin. Sweetie, don't you understand that secrets were meant to be revealed?

(A/N: FORESHADOWING BITCHES

BECSTIN WAS CONFIRMED CAN I GET AN AMEN UP IN THIS BITCH?

Anywho, how's it going? I haven't heard from you in a while. Did you get my letters? *shakes head* You didn't did ya? I watched unfriended and I fell asleep...oops. But I woke up whenever someone died. lol.

You're really cute no matter what. Don't let anyone tell you different, okay?

-❤ Luz)

P.s. I'm writing this becstin fanfic with the most amazing person ever aka Nelly (@mahonehadmelike) and you guys should check it out. It's called 'Friends with Benefits'. I love you. *obnoxious white girl voice* Byyyeeee.