Harboring Feelings >> Becstin

10

BECKY'S POV

"What are you trying to say, B?" He rages. I flinch at his harsh tone.

"I think it would be best if we stop seeing each other." I keep my voice calm and leveled.

"You're just saying that. You don't mean it." He stresses.

"I do mean it, Jimmy. I-I don't want to do this-I can't do this anymore." I try my hardest to keep my voice steady.

"You're lying! I love you, and you love me. We can work through this." He pleads.

"That's the problem, Jimmy. I don't love you anymore." I say sincerely. My last sentence hangs in the air causing Jimmy's face to drop.

"I hope your happier with Jes." I add. He's face contorts in anger.

"Fuck you, Becky. Jes was always better than you anyways. At least she doesn't hold out on me like some fucking prude." He spits as he walks out the front door.

I don't stop him to argue with him. I don't stop him at all. I simply sigh and keep my tears contained. I hold in my anger and hurt like I've always done and sit down on the couch and switch on the television.

I know it's unhealthy to bottle up my feelings, but if I let them out I don't know how to deal with them. Ever since my mom left I've always done this. I never told anyone what was going on; they just assume my mom is on an extended business trip. I was furious at my mother for leaving my dad. He's still battling his depression over the divorce. The custody battle was nonexistent. My dad wanted me, and my mom wanted the dog.

I wasn't mad at Hulk, he's too cute to stay mad at. I still miss that little furball.

I glance at the TV and I notice Spongebob was on.

The door bell rings and for a moment my heart stops at the thought that it might be Jimmy.

"Look, Jimmy there's-" I pull open the door and Austin is standing there with a tub of ice cream and a couple movies in his hands.

"Sorry to disappoint you." He smiles sadly.

"You did the exact opposite actually." I say as I open the door farther to let him in.

"I came over, because I had a feeling you were in need of some ice cream." He says.

"Why would I need some ice cream?" I ask.

"Well, when I'm upset I always snack on some sweets." He says.

"And why would I be upset?" I quiz him.

"I'm pretty sure an angry boyfriend is not a good thing." He says. I stare at him for a second.

How did he know Jimmy was mad?

"I saw him storm out of the house when I was taking out the trash." He answers my question as if he read my mind.

"Yeah, well, he's an ex boyfriend now." I sigh.

"I should've brought two tubs of ice cream." He stares at the Rocky Road container.

"No, it's all good, Austin. I'm not even crying. See?" I pat around my eyes and sure enough they are dry. The same as they were this morning.

"Your mouth says you're not sad, but your eyes tell me differently." He claims.

"But I'm not-"

"Not crying, I know. But, just because you're not crying doesn't mean you're not sad." He states. I feel my heart clench at his honest words.

"You're right, you're right. Wanna watch some Spongebob?" I ask him.

"How about we watch The Notebook?" He suggests as he sets down his ice cream and pops in the movie.

"Isn't it supposed to be me suggesting chick flicks?" I chuckle.

"So...no?" He teases when he plops on the couch.

"I didn't say no." I reply as I sit next to him.

[A/N: can Austin come over to mine with ice cream and chick flicks? no. k den.

Tell me something weird about yourself. Me? I have this weird habit of putting salt in my ketchup.
-Much love, Luz ❤

P.S. I like that shirt.

It's a good color on you.]