Harboring Feelings >> Becstin

18

BECKY'S POV

I avoided Austin at all costs for the last few days. He tries to talk to me, but I don't reply or I simply walk away from him. I've been hanging out with Sarah; unconsciously replacing Austin with her.

"You still haven't talked to him?" Sarah asks in an accusing manner. I shrug.

"Don't shrug at me!" She says, I shrug again and she smacks my shoulder.

"Sorry." I mumble. Lately I haven't been able to get the warehouse out of my mind.

Why was Austin there?

And if Austin got mad at me for being there, then who left the notes?

Were they pretending to be Austin or does their name start with A also?

This feels like some Pretty Little Liars bullshit.

"-Are you listening to me?" Sarah asks.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask shaking away my trance.

"I said, you should go talk to him. He's been beating himself up over what happened." Sarah says.

"I don't think I want to be friends with him anymore." I say emotionlessly.

"What?" Sarah snaps.

"I said I don't want to be friends with him anymore. I think it would be best if we didn't talk." I say, explaining myself.

"He has been in-ugh! Becky." She grits, I'm surprised by her reaction.

"What? You're going to get mad at me for not being friends with him?" I ask sarcastically.

"Give him a chance, B. He really needs you." She mumbles the last part.

"How can he need me? I've barely known him for a few months, Rah Rah." I use her nickname, she glares at me.

"Don't call me that. You know what that name reminds of when you call me that." She spits.

"I'm happy with or without him in my life." I say.

"So you're just going to ignore him the rest of your high school career?" She asks.

"I guess I am." I say.

AUSTIN'S POV

"I guess I am." She mumbles, and continues to work on her assignment for Mr. Kelley.

"Fuck." I tear off my headphones off disconnecting her voice from my ears. I harshly throw my hands down on the desk.

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" I shout as I slam my closed fists on the wooden table.

How did this happen? We were just friends last Friday.

It's been 3 days since she's even looked me in the eyes. And honestly I feel torn up inside. Every time I try to talk to her she looks past me and walks away. It's like I don't exist.

Again.

She makes me feel so alive with her smile, she makes me feel invincible when I make her laugh. Her voice is my only reality, and she is my light.

She's the only thing that keeps me sane since I lost my parents. She is my reason for carrying on. She is my angel that saved me.

Why can't I just go back in time and redo what happened?

I could use the program on her, but I'd feel too guilty afterwards.

Why do I have to fuck everything up? Why didn't I just watched her, and not have intervened? What would I be doing now?