Harboring Feelings >> Becstin

25

BECKY'S POV

I trace my hand over every letter on the wall of words, as I call it. I close my eyes and I see fragments of my past, it's blurry, but I can make out a few things. I hear laughs echo off the walls, but there's no on in here besides me. I hear Austin talking, but he's not here. I hear myself giggling and the unforgettable sound of kissing. I'm pulled out of my trance. I look to my left and I see a picture of Austin and I on a nightstand. We're laughing in the picture with his arm around me.

"Who are you?" I ask as I touch the outline of myself in the photograph. I place the picture down and open one of the drawers. I see a recorder with a sticky note on it.

Play me.

My eyes widen. I look around and no one is there. I tear off the note and press the play button.

"Hey, Becky." The voice starts.

I press the stop button as my mind registers that the voice is mine. I feel my heart drop just like the recorder that is now on the floor. I breathe heavily for a few seconds before I pick it up again.

"It's me-well you, I guess. The date is July 7th, 2013. And I'm here in Base One. Which is the place that you're in right now. I, uh, guess you want some answers, huh?" My voice asks through the recorder. I scowl down at it.

Obviously.

"Don't scowl at me." The voice says, I look down at the recorder with wide eyes.

"You have a crazy past, B. I'll start from the beginning. Our um, our parents died. That's the first thing. I don't know how to tell you this, but you-you um, you kill people, Becky." I feel tears well up in my eyes.

I couldn't-I don't. I can't do that. How could I even-

"I'm giving you permission to leave Base One and never look back. No one will blame you if you did, B. The life you are about to dig up, it's-well, it's unforgivable. So, if you can't handle or accept the fact that you have ended peoples' lives I suggest you discreetly leave the safe house and never return." There is a long silence.

"So, you've decided to stay." My voice sighs, "Terrible decision in my opinion, but okay." My voice groans

"God, just turn around and don't look back, B. I'm begging you here." My voice warns. I look at the window and sigh. I flinch when I hear a sound from the trees. I press the 'STOP' button and I turn around, to my surprise I see Austin there.

"We need to go, B." He says, I nod sadly and put the recorder in my pocket. After Austin and I finally touch the earth again I silently follow Austin on the path to the safe house.

'You kill people, Becky.' The sentence reverberates in head.

How could I kill people? Did I enjoy it? Is that why I did it since I was young?

I look at Austin's walking figure ahead of me. The words feel like vomit, because I couldn't stop them before I spewed them out.