Chances

Chapter 6

Lily's heart really goes out for Carina and she feels so fucking guilty for not knowing any of this was going on in person. She wasted time and energy ignoring and talking badly about this girl while Carina was constantly dealing with this vast and personal issue inside of her with no one to be there for her in person.

But that was going to change starting now.

--

"Are you sure that you're okay?" Lily asks with a worried expression on her face. She hands Carina another tissue, which she uses to dab her swollen, red eyes with.

She cried for a rather long time, to say the least. Lily was worried that she wouldn't stop at one point, but she didn't let go of her the entire time. Carina needed to let it out. Lily was the first person she has ever come out to officially and it was such a huge step. It meant a lot that she, of all people, was the one that Carina told and she will be damned if she told anyone else that confidential information. Lily knows how she feels. It's terrifying.

But that doesn't mean that Carina is ready to accept it and to publically display her sexuality. And that's okay. The only people that can determine when they want to come out are themselves and no one should influence that. Now that Lily holds this secret, she wasn't going to neglect it and she wasn't going to neglect her.

Carina cried out years and years worth of self-loathing, anger, and sadness because she was never able to fully come to terms with her sexuality. But she also cried of relief from finally being able to willingly hand over another human being a part of her secret. Or at least that's how Lily felt when she came out to her best friend at the time about 5 years go.

"Yeah," Carina nods with a small yet convincing smile as she sits on the edge of her bed. Her voice is hoarse and her nose is a little stuffy. "I'm okay now. Thank you for, well, everything I suppose. That wasn't easy to say but I'm glad I said it."

"Of course," Lily mumbles softly. "And don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. I swear." She even reinforces the sincerity of her words by marking an 'X' over her heart.

Carina smiles, more widely this time. "I trust you."

Lily returns her smile before she gives Carina a gentle squeeze on the arm that silently told her that things were going to be okay and that she was going to be as well. Lily then heads back to her own bed and sits down, facing her.

Carina looks at her for a moment before she opens her mouth and presents her with a question. "How did you feel yesterday? Like while you were waiting at the coffee shop last night I mean."

Lily laughs a bit to herself, still unable to believe that things turned out the way that they did. "Well, I was nervous as hell to the point where I thought I was going to throw up right then and there. But then as time passed more and more, I legit thought that you didn't show up and that you weren't going to either and I was heartbroken . I was so disappointed and upset when I thought that you weren't there because it was like you picked me up so high just to let me fall down.

"I waited for you for so long, still clinging onto this little speck of hope that you would suddenly come barging through the doors at the last minute because you ran into car trouble or got lost or something. But that was just my wishful, optimistic thinking. I was absolutely crushed, to put it in a nutshell."

There's a slight frown present on Carina's face and she looks down at her hands almost ashamedly. "I'm sorry," she murmurs, eyes still locked on her hands in her lap.

"Wait, no," Lily refutes, not wanting her to feel ashamed of what happened. "It's not your fault. You know that, right? How could you have possibly known-hell, how could either of us have possibly known that the person we were waiting for was each other? That's some straight up spooky shit right there."