Breaking Down

Chapter 34:

About three hours later, I found myself standing outside of a dingy apartment complex. I wasn't quite sure how I even got here. At some point, while I was fleeing through the woods, I lost everything, which included the memory of what I did between running from Cam and finding my way to this hell hole.

I rang the buzzer and rubbed my bare arms looking for the warmth that I lost the second Cam turned his nose up at me. Who was I kidding to think I was ever good enough for him? He stood on a pedestal towering high above the rest while I belonged in the sewers with the other pitiful creatures who resided there.

The bottoms of my feet were throbbing from the beating they took from the unforgiving cold winter ground. I was leaving a trail of small blood spots from the twigs and thorns that pierced my skin as I ran barefoot through the woods. It hurt to walk.

The lace portion of my shirt was torn and barely hanging on to my shoulder; I could only assume I caught it on a branch as I ran. I didn't even recall what I really did to ruin the poor shirt, but whatever happened to it, there was no way I could fix it. It was just another poor victim of my deranged lunacy.

My breath was becoming increasingly less visible in the cold night air. I needed to get inside where it was warmer fast. I was going to freeze to death if I stayed out here much longer.

Without even knowing where I was headed, I ended up at this wretched place. It was right where I belonged. This was the only place where I could be somebody who mattered. Even if it wasn't the person that I wanted to be.

"Who the fuck is it?" Nate screamed through the intercom.

"It's Jess. Let me in." My voice trembled uncontrollably from the cold.

The door clicked and I pulled it open quickly. I was relieved to get into the warmth of the hallway and out of the frigid air. I looked back into the window at my reflection and fluffed my hair. I tried to straighten my clothes over my body, but it didn't work. I looked like the Bride of Frankenstein. Hopefully, Nate would take one look at my wild, jungle girl appearance and decide to take it easy on me tonight.

The hallway was dim; most of the lights were burnt out. The thick musty air reeked of marijuana; I could see the clouds in the air hovering above my head. I almost gagged from the thickness of it as the stench lingered in my nostrils. I stomped back towards the music blaring in the back of the building. Nathan always played his music so damn loud. I don't know how he hadn't been kicked out of the building yet.

I knocked on the door and heard Nathan holler. "It's open."

I pushed the door open and was hit in the face with the screaming music swirling over a thumping rhythm. Nate had to have been entertaining again tonight.

I saw the redheaded girl from the video kneeling in front of Nathan again, bobbing her head up and down over him. Didn't this girl have anything better to do than just hang around with her head between his legs?

"That's it. You're a nasty whore." He wrapped his hand in her stringy hair and looked up, locking his dark eyes on mine. He smiled, wanting me to look down to see her taking him in and out of her mouth. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

Keith and a few other guys I didn't know were laughing. I wondered if this girl even knew what she was getting herself into. It was kind of sad watching her knowing what would have happened if I didn't walk in when I did. She could have been the type of girl, like me, who was dumb enough not to care, but the boys would never get the chance to find out. Now that I was here, Nate would have no need for her. He knew crazy Jessa was always up for something new. He wouldn't waste his time trying to convince her to do things if he knew I was already ready to go.