Breaking Down

Chapter 46:

I was sitting out on a stone ledge outside the venue the boys were supposed to play at tomorrow night.  Nate had gone inside to let them know we were here and to sign the paperwork for the show.  

I was freezing, but Nate didn't want me to go inside with him and I couldn't stand being on the bus any longer.  The guys in the band had been staring at my bruised face every time I walked into the room.  They kept trying to ask me questions and it was getting extremely hard to escape them without my body imploding from the pressure they were putting me under.  

The confined space and constant arguing that was going on inside the bus had my mind racing again. I had lived in this chaos for so long, I don't think I would know what being normal felt like anymore, but I knew I was not there right now.

I wrapped my arms around my knees and brought them to my chest to try to hold the warmth in as I shivered.

"You cold?"  A deep unfamiliar voice asked.  There was a middle-aged guy with long graying hair walking down the side entrance towards me, smiling.  He was a little on the plump side and reminded me of a shaggy teddy bear.

"No, I'm good." I mumbled, looking at my bare feet. 

The guy lit a cigarette and invited himself to sit down on the ledge next to me.  I wasn't in the mood for company, but it seemed like no matter how hard I tried to get away, I always had someone breathing down my neck.

"You look like you are hiding from someone."  He said softly.

"I've just been cooped up in that bus too long.  I can't look at it anymore."  It was the truth, not the whole truth but close enough.

"I get it.  Life on the road isn't as wonderful as the movies make it seem. I know from experience, I watch a lot of movies and have lived on the road for a while."  He laughed.

I nodded, silently agreeing with his very astute statement. 

We sat in silence for a few more minutes.  He was drumming on his legs in perfect rhythm as he continued to smoke.  If I had to guess, this guy was a musician at some point in his life. I don't think it was a coincidence that he was here hanging out for no reason. He probably worked here.

When he was done with the first cigarette, he immediately lit a second one.   This guy smoked like a chimney. I wasn't in any place to judge the man about his habits; I had some pretty gnarly ones of my own to contend with.

"Does a pretty girl like you come with a name?"  He asked, scooting closer to me. 

"Jessa."  I said quietly.

He looked at me a little strangely and then shook it away. I had no idea who this guy was, but I didn't get the instant creep factor I got with most other guys.  Even with him scooting closer to me, he felt like he was more paternal than a stalker.  Maybe it was because this guy was like my Dad's age. He had a very calm and nurturing vibe, which made me relax a little more.

"Hey, I don't want to put you on the spot, but what happened to your face?"  He asked, taking a puff from the cigarette before blowing another plume of smoke out. 

"I got drunk and passed out in the shower. I fell and hit my head."  I lied.

"That's rough.  Let me guess. The shower said it was sorry and it would never do that to you again?" The man said, turning his head to look me in my swollen, bloodshot eyes.

"No, the shower is a fucking asshole.  It made me apologize for standing in it."  I said, shaking my head.

"You should get a new shower."  The man said, taking another long drag off his cigarette.