Breaking Down

Chapter 43:

Nathan had been gone for hours.  I was starting to get a little worried about him even if I was pissed at him. He wasn't looking very put together when he left. 

I threw on a pair of pants and walked outside the tour bus to see if he had decided to hide out there for a little bit.  If he didn't have any money, there were not a lot of places he could go.

The bus door was locked when I tried the handle. I had to knock to have someone come let me in.  Josh's platinum head popped out and he looked down at me. 

"Hey, love. Come on in."  He gave me a toothy grin and stepped back so I could get inside.  He went back to the small table and sat down across from Devin and Elliot. 

"Want a drink or something to eat?"  Elliot asked, holding up a bottle of some off-brand liquor.  That was what we were left with since Nathan mishandled the money.  Dollar menu burgers and cheap booze. I looked down at the food with my mouth watering, they only had three sandwiches and there were three of them.  If I took one, then one of them would be going hungry tonight instead of me. We needed them to stay; me stealing food from them wouldn't help.  Hungry men had no control over their moods. The band with an empty stomach would be the final blow to this tour.  Since I had nowhere left to go, this was just as much for me as it was for them. 

"I'll pass." I said, swallowing back the empty ache inside my belly.

"Your loss."  Josh said, opening the wrapper and tearing into the sandwich.

"Have any of you seen Nate?"  I asked sheepishly.  My foot was tapping incessantly against the floor of the bus.  The whole bus was shaking from the motion.

"He's probably out stealing someone else's money."  Devin griped.

"He told me we were running low."  I grimaced.

"It's more than low, Jess. He bled us dry. There is nothing.  We're out."  Josh washed his burger down with the clear liquid. 

"You can't quit now. At least play the next show. It would be a shame your talent goes to waste because Nate is bad with finances."  I flipped my hair off my face and looked down at them. I had to cater to their self-conceit for my own selfish needs.  Boys in bands needed their egos stroked once in a while. If this didn't work, I could always try stroking something else for a few minutes. Eventually, I would find a way to get what I wanted.

Josh reached out and wrapped his arm around my waist.  He pulled me down on his lap and began kissing my neck.  I began moaning and wrapped my hands in his hair to pull it. I shifted my hips over him to remind him what it felt like. 

"We'll do it for you, Jess."  He said to the group.

"Thank you."  I leaned back into him and kissed his cheek. 

"You're too good for him.  It's a shame I have the wifey back at home or I would just take you with me. I'm going to miss this."  Josh rubbed against me from behind.  I cringed thinking about him having a wife at home waiting for him while he was here messing around with me.  I had never wanted to be a homewrecker, but here I was throwing myself at him for my own selfish needs.

"If you stay, you can have it anytime you want. Just think about it and let me know what you decide."  I climbed up off Josh's lap and headed back to the door. I had to leave him hungry for it if I had a shot of convincing them to stay longer. Nathan seriously owed me for this one.  I wasn't going to let him forget what I was doing for him.  I was going to save this tour. 

I walked back into the motel room and looked for any sign Nathan had returned.  The motel was still empty and silent. 

I switched on the TV to try to take my mind off my troubles. I took off my pants and laid in the bed.  I flipped through the channels looking for some local news to see if I could find out where in the world we were.  It was already over and I ended up having to settle on watching some reruns of various sitcoms I had seen a thousand times.  There was literally nothing else to do.  Without money, I couldn't go anywhere or do anything. I couldn't even order a pizza to kill the boredom.

My stomach was rumbling. It had been cruelly reminding me of how empty it was for the last three hours.  I would have eaten one of my socks if I had a spare pair.  I didn't have spare anything right now. Nathan's promise of a new wardrobe at the beginning of the tour didn't actually mean clothes.  He had bought me exactly two outfits. One for meeting with club owners and one for the bedroom in case I needed to help him impress anyone he was negotiating with.  He would have me put it on and parade around the tour bus. Keith had offered to help me by showing a little leg too, but Nate turned him down.

I looked over at the clock and it was just past one o'clock in the morning.  I could go back to the bus to stay with the other guys or invite one of them to come back with me.  After thinking it through, if Nate did come back, it would probably only cause more drama if he found me with one of them. I wasn't really in the mood to sleep with anyone tonight anyway.

I turned back to the clock again after what felt like five hours.  The clock read 1:02 AM. 

Shit, tonight was going to be a long one. 

My breath caught in my throat when I realized the motel room phone was sitting next to the clock on the nightstand. I chewed on my lip nervously as I looked at it.  I had forgotten there was a phone in the room.  I was so used to being watched anytime I was around one that I forgot what they were even used for. 

I sat and pondered what to do as I watched the clock change from 1:02 AM to 1:03 AM.  Should I use it to call someone? Nate would be angry if he found out, but I was upset and was feeling abandoned by him.  I was starting to miss home.

I decided to do it; what Nathan didn't know wouldn't hurt him. He had done far worse things to me than this. One little call couldn't even compare to his betrayal.

I picked up the phone nervously and pressed it to my ear.  The dial tone sounded so foreign to my ears.  I slowly pressed the numbers one by one with a trembling finger. I was lucky I had spent hours reciting this phone number in my head so I would never forget it.  I never knew all those hours would be worth it someday.

My heart was beating out of my chest when the phone began to ring.

One ring...

Two rings...

Three rings...

"Hello?" A sleep heavy voice said over the phone.

Hearing the voice on the other side hurt.