Breaking Down

Chapter 21:

I woke up the next morning to hear the sizzling of a frying pan.  It smelled like bacon.  My favorite breakfast food of all time.  Of course, Cam would be making me bacon; he knew me better than anyone else.

I jumped out of bed, realizing I still had no clothes on.  The deviant in me wanted to go parade my nude self all over his kitchen to try to get him to touch me.  Good morning sex sounded phenomenal right now after the night we had together.  He didn't touch me one time, but I had never had anything close to that type of experience with anyone else before.

After beating back my inner demoness for fifteen minutes, the realist in me decided to put a shirt and my panties back on. Cam would appreciate me using my better judgment.  With things being so different between us right now, I didn't want to push my luck with him. 

Cam was standing in the kitchen in front of the stove with just his boxers on. Fuck he was a delicious treat. 

Cam had changed into a pair of black boxer briefs at some point during the night.  I hated to admit that I actually missed the red ones.  Black still looked amazing on his perfectly firm round butt, but the red ones were mouthwatering.  He looked like a dirty boy in them. I just wanted to go over there and give him a little squeeze.  He would like it even though he would never admit it out loud. 

Control Jessa.  Practice control. Last night did not happen. He only let you do it because he knew it was what you needed.  It was nothing more than that.  He was Cam and I was Jessa.  Best friends for life.  My gorgeous best friend who leaned over top of me while I got myself off naked in his bed.  Not complicated at all.  Everything was just sunshine and rainbows.

"We could be really happy together." The other half of my brain chimed in.

Shut up, brain.

Who was I really trying to fool?  I was a bipolar pill head who screwed anything that walked when I was manic.  I could never be little Susie Homemaker for this boy.  Even if we tried to have a relationship, I would just end up breaking his heart.  Nathan was right when he said Cam couldn't handle a girl like me.  I couldn't be his burden.

"Good Morning." Cam said, smiling back at me.

"Hey." I somberly walked over towards him and jumped up on the counter next to where he was cooking.

"Did you sleep well?"  He asked, flipping the bacon over in the pan.

"Yeah, I think I did."  I giggled when he flinched after a splatter of grease hit his skin. 

"Extra Crispy?" He asked, knowing the answer before I could even say it.

"I hate it when it's all wiggly."  I sighed in a lackluster tone.

"Jess, what's wrong? Are you feeling ok?" Cam looked over at me, concerned.

"No, everything is fine." I said unconvincingly.

Cam placed the fork back down on a piece of paper towel and walked over to stand between my legs.  He placed his hands on my bare thighs, tickling my skin.  Of course, the electricity went straight to the pit of my stomach and I was immediately soaking again.  

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" He asked, running his hands up and down my thighs, causing goosebumps to spread over every inch of my body. My breath was coming out hard and fast with every soft stroke. 

I placed my hands on his chest and traced my hand lower over his hard stomach. I leaned in further, wanting to kiss him or at least get him to take me back into bed.  He wrapped his fingers in my hair and placed his forehead against mine.