Breaking Down

Chapter 36:

"Jessa, Sweet Pea? Where are you? Please come home. We aren't mad at you, baby. We just want to know you are safe. Just call me, please. We can figure this out. You don't have to stay away. I love you." My Mom's voicemail cut deep into my bones.

I had listened to the messages she sent me on repeat every few minutes. She sounded sad. I hated that I made her feel this way, but it also made me want to stay away more. My brain worked in mysterious ways.

I had spent the last week and a half at Nate's apartment dodging phone calls and texts from my family and Cameron. Even Jax had tried to call my phone on numerous occasions. His voicemails were just him saying a lot of um's and yeah's.

"Your Mom sounds like shit." Nate said, brushing his teeth in the doorway. He walked over to the bed I was lying on and snatched the phone out of my hand to look through it. Nate had been keeping a pretty close eye on me since I had been back.

"She's worried about me." I said, pulling the corners of my mouth down into a frown when I saw him pressing buttons. He was deleting my messages again. He had started deleting them the first time he heard Cameron's voice on the speaker and then it snowballed into deleting every message I received from anyone. He threw the phone back on the bed when he was finished invading my privacy.

"You're not a little girl anymore, Jessa. It's time for you to start doing big girl things." He said, spitting some toothpaste out as he talked. He wiped it off his chin, swearing.

"Nate, I have been. I do everything you ask me to." I said, heartbroken. I had been cleaning his apartment and helping him call venues for the tour during the daytime. At night, I let him do anything he wanted to my body. What was I not giving him?

"You just aren't doing enough for me, Jessa. Maybe you shouldn't go on tour with us. I can find someone else to take your spot so you can go home to your Mommy and Daddy like a good little girl." He said, grabbing my chin.

"I'm sorry. I really want to tour." I said, climbing to my knees and letting the blanket fall off my naked body. He ran his finger over my lips and I knew what he wanted me to do. I was getting ready to give it to him when there was a loud banging on the door.

"Police, open up." The pounding shook the thin apartment walls.

"Oh fuck Jess, I swear if I get arrested because of your psychotic ass, I will come back in here and fucking torture you." Nate said, pushing me back on the bed. "Keep your stupid mouth shut while I go deal with this."

He pulled out a pair of shorts and pulled them on before rushing out of the room. I heard him stop off in the bathroom and spit out the toothpaste before running to the door.

The steel front door creaked open seconds later.

"Good day, Mr. Webster." I heard a male voice float back to the bedroom.

"What can I do for you?" Nate said in a sweet voice.

"We have been given an anonymous tip that you might know something about a missing person's case that was just filed." The officer said back in a clipped tone.

"Well, I assure you I have nothing to do with any missing person." Nate said with his voice tensing.

"The fuck you don't, Webster. Where is Jess?" I heard Cameron's raised voice from the hallway.

What was he doing here?

I heard a loud thud that sounded like someone's head getting bashed in against a wall. Another thud echoed before Nate's laughter cut through the air.

"Easy Officer Nash, you don't want me to file a complaint against you for the use of excessive force." Nate taunted him.

"She's in there, isn't she? You are brainwashing her, you son of a bitch." Cam accused. "Jess, darling. Come out, please."

Cam was screaming for me from the hallway.

I pulled out a t-shirt and threw it on over my head. I didn't bother with anything else since it didn't matter anyway really. I had to do something to get him to go away before Nathan kicked me out or worse. I couldn't even imagine what he would do.

I walked out from the back of the apartment and plastered a fake grin across my face. Cam's eyes went wide and he stepped back away from Nate when he saw me. He studied me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. His face fell when his stormy gray eyes locked on mine. Without looking in a mirror, I knew what he saw. Bloodshot eyes, unbrushed hair, and a girl who had no fight left in her.

I walked up behind Nathan and wrapped myself around him. He looked a little stunned that I was there but recovered quickly. He scooped me into him and kissed my head like he actually cared for me. It was all for show; Nathan only cared about himself.

"What's all the fuss about?" I asked sweetly.

"Are you Jessa Miller?" The officer I didn't recognize asked.

"Yeah, I am. Is there something wrong?" I couldn't even bring my eyes to flicker in Cam's direction. The officer was looking at my face trying to read the situation in front of him.

"Your family reported you missing seven days ago."

"Well, that's just silly. I'm not missing. I've been here the whole time."

Nate grabbed a big handful of my butt and squeezed it hard. I grimaced before I could catch myself. I was still healing from my cuts. They were scabbed over for the most part, but I was left with some dark purple bruising.

Cam's eyes went down to where Nathan's hand was grabbing my exposed skin. Nate had made sure to raise my shirt up so Cam could see him touching my bare ass. Nate was a sadist.

"Jess, did he do that to you?" Cam lost it when he saw the discolored skin. He fought the other officer in the doorway as he tried to get past him to get to me.

"Officer Nash." The other officer sent a warning tone in his direction.

"You see that, don't you? He's abusing her." Cameron was flailing his arms around, trying to break free.

"Officer Nash, calm down or go wait in the car." The other officer stood his ground. Cam slunk back down with his anger still billowing off of him.

"Good boy." Nathan gloated.

"Miss Davis, I think it would be best if you came with us to sort this out." The officer said, turning his attention back to me.

"Is she under arrest?" Nathan interjected.

"No, Sir, but there is a concern for her welfare due to her medical condition."

I finally gathered the courage to look directly at Cam again. His eyes were locked on my face boring deep into my skin. His face was twisted in pain like I was taking a knife and slicing him open one shallow stroke at a time.

"Is there a court order to bring her in?" Nate knew all the right questions to ask.

"Not at this time." The officer said, looking down.

"Well, I think it's time for you both to leave my girlfriend and me alone. You have no legal course of action to make her go with you. Don't come back here again unless you have a warrant. Good day and fuck off." Nate said, slamming the door.

Cam was immediately pounding on the door behind us. If the door wasn't heavy steel, he would have already had it ripped off its hinges.

"Jess. Don't do this." He pleaded. "I'll be back with a court order. I won't let him hurt you again."

"You know Jess, you are becoming quite the pain in my ass." Nate said, wrapping his hand in my hair to lead me back to the bedroom. I felt his hand tighten; he wanted to pull it. He was absolutely livid after what just happened.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't think my family would be this crazy." I apologized again. When we got to the room, he let me go. I went straight over to the bottle of pills on the table and swallowed a few to take the edge off.

"Pack your shit, sweetheart. Tour's going to start a little bit early." He smiled.