Breaking Down

Chapter 6:

Cameron owned a small ranch style house on one of the quaintest little streets in the Ohio suburbs.  The kind of place where the neighbors helped cut each other's grass and watered their flowers daily. They would always stop and talk to you about going on little day trips to look for covered bridges and other shit like that. Every other car had a 'my kid is on the honor roll' bumper sticker.  Too perfect, idyllic middle-class America.  My Cameron had drunk the Koolaid.

I skipped up to the front door and waited for Cam to grab my bag from the car.  He slowly walked up the door and turned the key to let us in.   He was moving like a sloth.

"Do you still sleep in those footie pajamas? Because if you want to sleep naked instead, I am totally fine with that."  I asked, kicking my shoes off and threw them across the room.  Cam growled and went over to pick them up to place them in a basket near the door. I went over to his big comfy chair and dove in.  I hung my legs over the side of the chair and swung them dramatically. 

"Jessa, knock it off." He said, chastising me.

"What do you want to do?" I spun around and turned upside down on the chair so my feet were in the air. Cameron was looking down at me.  I could see up his nose from this angle.  He was all clear, not one single bat in the cave.

"I want a shower and I want to go to bed." Cam said, yawning at me.  "I worked the night shift last night and had to watch over this crazy girl who tried to beat up her brother in the middle of the street." 

"Sounds like a real bitch."  I said, laughing.

"Again with the mouth." He said, running his hands through his hair.

"You know, you could stick something in it to shut me up." I rocked back and forth and moved my eyes to the bottom of his perfectly toned abs. 

"Yeah, a bar of soap."  He said as he walked away from me. 

Stupid Cameron and his morality.  If he were any other guy, he would be taking advantage of me right now. He wouldn't be able to say no to me if I was already going to town on him. I should just take all my clothes off and go join him in his wonderful master bathroom. The shower was wrapped in glass and had this wonderful handheld massaging head. I could only imagine the look on his face when he saw all the filthy things I could do with it. 

I was so bored. I should have just gone to Nate's place. He would have let me do dirty things to him. I would have at least been able to drink or get high while I was there.  Now I was stuck here with a gorgeous boy who never even brought a girl back to his place. He wouldn't even know what to do with one if he had an instruction manual. He was going to come out any second to suggest we play Uno, Yahtzee, or some stupid game like that. He was hopeless.

I laid back in the chair the right way to stare up at the ceiling.  My day had been wretched. I should be crying right now about my parents kicking me out.  Instead, I was watching swirling patterns from refracted light as cars passed down the street. I closed my eyes and tucked my body into a little ball.   The chair smelled like Cam and I sunk deeper into his familiar scent, finding some peace for the first time in ages. 

"Jessa, get up.  Go lay in the bed." I tried to pull my heavy eyelids open, but they were winning.

"No." I complained and swung my arm out to try to push him away. My hand came directly in contact with his bare skin and I finally found my motivation to open my eyes to marvel in the glorious sight.  Please be naked.

Cam was standing there wearing nothing but basketball shorts and a smile as he leaned over to run his hand gently over my arm. He wasn't naked, but I couldn't complain about it either. His broad shoulders accentuated the V shape that led down to perfectly toned abs.  Cam liked to work out to keep his body in shape. I liked that Cam liked to make himself look pretty for me. He was a good puppy. He deserved a bone.

"You ready?" He asked, helping me to my feet.

"I'm always ready for you." I said suggestively.

"Yeah, no." He said, shaking his head. He pulled me in front of him and then placed his hands on my hips to push me down the hall towards the bedrooms. I was yawning the whole time, trying to get some of the oxygen back in my brain. The little butterflies fluttering in my stomach had stolen all my air the moment his fingertips dug into my skin.

He stopped suddenly in front of the guest bedroom door and reached around me to open it up.  An involuntary whimper came out of my mouth when I realized he wasn't leading me to his room.  I needed to feel something or nothing. If I couldn't drink or get high, then I needed pleasure to get me through. 

"Sleep well, Jessa." He turned me around and hugged me around my shoulders. "If you need anything, let me know."

"You know what I need." I whispered against his chest.

"I know what you think you need."  He pulled my head up to look into my eyes. He looked like there was something more he wanted to say to me.

"Come on, Cami, let me thank you." I batted my too-big blue eyes at him.  I reached out to run my hand down his stomach. My fingertips were sliding further down until I was pulling at the elastic on his shorts. Cam was frozen in place, breathing heavily as I teased him at the base of his stomach.  I didn't even have to touch him to know how hard he was. The shorts were giving away his secrets on their own. Was tonight going to be the night Cam finally let me have my way with him?

"Stop." He pushed my hand away from him and stepped back.  "Jessa, I'm not sleeping with you." 

"Awww, Cami, don't be shy. You know you want to."  I whispered and brushed my hand over him.

"Jessa, I'm serious.  We aren't doing this." He pushed my hand down right as I began to wrap my fingers around him.

"Well, why the hell did you bring me here then? If you aren't going to fuck me, then I will go find someone who will." I pushed him back.  I was humiliated. What was wrong with me?  Every guy wanted to get at me.  They were lined up around the block to feel me moving on top of them, to slip themselves inside of me.  Every guy except perfect Cameron Nash.

"I'm trying to help you, Jessa.  It's not like you have a lot of options right now.  I would be driving you to that facility right now if I could.  I'm worried about you.  You've never been this bad before." He went to try to hug me, but the inferno inside me was raging. 

"Go to hell." I said, storming out of the hallway.  He wasn't going to get to stand there criticizing my life.  He had no right to treat me this way. 

I had my hand on the doorknob of the front door and was pulling it open before I even knew what I was doing.  The cool night air smacked me hard in the face the moment I stepped outside. I began running across the lawn. I just closed my eyes and ran.

"Jess, don't leave."  He begged behind me. 

Fuck you, Cameron Nash.  Fuck you and the white horse you rode in on.