Breaking Down

Chapter 15:

          I pulled up to the studio about fifteen minutes later. Keith was leaning against the door with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He smiled when he saw me.

           "How's my favorite little performer?" He said, looking me up and down. I had showered and changed into some ripped jeans that hung low on my hips. They were more rips than fabric. I had decided I needed to get Nathan's attention again so I wouldn't lose my contract. I put on a halter top lacey bra under a mesh half-shirt. I looked like a prostitute and felt like one too. I would give Nathan my body again today as many times as I could. In exchange, he would give me my contract back and I would be one step closer to escaping the suburbs of Ohio.

           "Where's Nathan?" I asked, chewing my lip nervously. The last time I saw Keith, he was standing over me laughing when one of the punk kid band members decided my hands tied behind my back wasn't good enough. I cringed thinking about the things I let them do to me that night.

            "He's in his office." Keith snickered at me.

             I nodded and walked past him without saying another word. I had to get to Nathan and convince him to keep me around.

             Nathan was sitting on the couch in his office with his eyes closed. His black t-shirt was cut tight enough to show off his perfectly sculpted body. His tattoo sleeves looked radiant in the dim lighting. Even before he started working out and tatted every inch of his body, Nathan had always been hot. Every girl always swooned anytime he gave them a little attention. If they really knew who he was, they would have all ran far away without looking back.

           I started to think back to the friendship that Nate, Cam, and I had as I watched him take his nap. The three of us used to do everything together. Life was so much easier back then when the boys got along. That all started falling apart the night Nathan got me drunk and slept with me for the first time. Cam never forgave him after that night for some reason.

Cam continued to hang out with us for a while until he found out the things Nathan was having me do for him. I shuddered thinking about the last night we all hung out together. That was the night Nathan convinced me to get on my knees in front of a room full of his friends. Cam walked into the room, not knowing what was happening.

              "Nash, get in here." Nate called to him, laughing.

               I looked back to the doorway to find my best friend standing there with his gray eyes frozen on my face. I was on my knees in just my bra and jeans with Nathan in my mouth.

              Cameron's eyes went wide when he looked around the room. There were four other guys hanging out with us. Nate had convinced them to come smoke with him and then decided he wanted some Jessa time too.

              "What's wrong, Nash? You know she is a slut. Get your ass in here and get some before you die a virgin." Laughs circled around the room at my expense. I shrunk down, embarrassed, but I still kept moving over Nathan. He would yell at me if I stopped now. I was spinning weightlessly in the galaxy and Nathan screaming in my face would ruin the high I was getting from having all the eyes in the room on me. I craved attention even when it was the wrong kind. I always needed more.

            "Oh shit. Get ready to swallow it, Jess." Nate said, pushing my head tight against him, trying to choke me. Nate finished in my mouth and held himself in so I didn't have any other option but to swallow it down.

             "How did it taste, Jess?" Nathan asked, running his hands through my hair.

             "It was so good." I said, batting my eyelashes at him.