only angel ✭ h.s.

Twenty Nine

I've learned a lot of things about myself in this lifetime. One of them would be that I'm one jealous mother fucker.

I never realized how much it would affect me; I was fuming. I didn't mean to get so aggressive but it was like a flip switched in my brain and I couldn't control it. I just knew I wanted the random girl off of Harry.

It all happened so fast and every little word she spoke set me off, deeper into my oblivion of anger.

It was an odd feeling being so protective over someone. Obviously, I was always protective of Zayn and Jo, they are my best friends. But this was different. Harry is my best friend but also someone I never want to lose. I was having a hard time putting my feelings into words; like I usually do.

I needed the control last night, it was like if I couldn't be in control of what is mine I was going to blow a fuse. I swear I just wanted to in a way fuck my feelings into him. He felt just as strongly about me and he liked it when I got jealous.

I was his just as much as he was mine.

It felt good to be in control. Having him do whatever I asked and being so good to me. But when he begged. Holy fuck. That's the exact second I died and went to hell. A trip I did not want a return ticket from.

They wouldn't let me into heaven for obvious reasons anyway.

When we first had sex I loved having him in charge, it was fun. But I'm beginning to think he enjoyed being under me just as much as I enjoyed being on top of him. My legs were sore as fuck all night but I danced through it. Of course, after Harry let me get up.

He asked me to sit on his dick to keep his cum inside me for a while and I complied because he had been such a good boy. I'd never done that before but it was so goddamn hot the way it turned him on. He wouldn't stop talking about how much he liked it. His exact words were, "Wish I could stay inside you forever, so fucking perfect, baby."

I definitely throbbed after he said that. I mean who wouldn't? We did end up cleaning ourselves, getting dressed, and going back out to the party. We also did our very best to put Daisy's room back together so it looked untouched. At first, Harry was mortified when I told him whose room it was and maybe it was wrong. I mean we didn't get anything anywhere...

I do kindly reminded him how jealous he felt when she was all over me months ago and would flirt with me right in front of him. It helped calm his nerves a little because he was momentarily being blinded by his jealousy. Whatever it took to get him out of there quickly.

The rest of the night we danced, played stupid drinking games, and just had a good time with our friends. It was my first party where I didn't feel empty inside or hated myself. I used to only come to get messed up and to forget. I had so much fun and I was finally carefree. I had nothing to complain about, I was happy.

We got home quite late last night and I barely made it to our bed when we got to Harry and Liam's apartment. I was exhausted and my voice was half gone from drunk singing karaoke with Jo.

As soon as we made it to our room we both stripped out of our costumes and into warm and comfortable pajamas. I remember Harry helping me take off my makeup once I laid down. He gently scrubbed my face with a makeup wipe and kissing all over my face when he was done. I remember cuddling till I heard his light snoring and soon after I fell asleep to the calm drumming of his heartbeat.

My thoughts were always about him, he consumed me and I didn't mind. At first, it scared me to be so connected to someone but now it felt comfortable and safe.

I ran my hand through his long hair as his head laid softly on my stomach with his arms wrapped around my body.

We always slept wrapped up in each other and I loved it. His face was pressed into my skin because my shirt had ridden up. Most likely because he loved to be touching me directly.

I looked down to admire his soft face. He always had the cutest pout on his lips when he slept and every so often would it turn into a playful smile. Almost like he was reacting to a dream he was having.

I kept my hand in his unruly curls, massaging his scalp softly. After a while of mindlessly playing with his hair, I reached out my free hand to grab my phone from the nightstand. Carefully, I unplugged and brought it up to my face. It was almost 7 am and I was never awake this early. I loved my sleep but when I woke up there was no chance of me falling back asleep.

I quickly unlocked my phone, checking my messages. Jolene texted late last night to let me know she and Liam went back to the dorm and got there safely. I also had a text from my boss asking me if I could pick up a shift later tonight. I groaned internally, just wanting to stay in bed all day.

Then my eyes caught sight of a text from a thread that hadn't been touched in almost two months.

From Mom: I was hoping you would've reached out by now but I was sadly mistaken. I'm here when you're ready to apologize. I miss you, honey.

I stared at my phone wide-eyed and frozen. I'm not sure what I should be feeling right now but it's a mix of anger and confusion.

She really knows how to damper my mood doesn't she? I have nothing to apologize for, if anything she owes me a big fucking apology! I really could've gone the rest of my life with no contact with her.

Sometimes I wish she'd just see what she did wrong and apologize. I think there's a small part of me that'd be willing to forgive her.

"Angel?" A deep and scratchy voice snaps me from my thoughts. I quickly lock my phone and place it back on the nightstand. I change my focus to the green-eyed man laying on top of me as he shifts his head to look up at me from my chest.

His lips curl up, smiling at me as give my sternum a small kiss. "Morning, lover boy. Did I wake you?"

He groans a little before scooting his body up until his head was nuzzled in the crook of my neck.

"You felt tense, baby. Try going back to sleep." He suggested and it warmed my heart knowing he sensed the situation even in his sleep. I kiss the top of his head while rubbing the back of his neck and his arm that's wrapped around my body with my other hand.

"I'll try. I've got to go in to work later tonight." I change the subject just wanting to relax again and enjoy him. I wasn't going to let a meaningless text message ruin my morning. "No work talk, only sleep." He whines, humming against my neck.

"Kissy?"

I laugh at his playfulness, feeling his warm breath against my skin. He lifts his head and leans in giving me a small but meaningful kiss. As if he's trying to kiss away my uneasiness.

It always worked.

He pulled away but not before planting another soft kiss on the corner of my mouth and smiling. My body and mind relaxed as he nudged his head into my neck and squeezed my body close to his.

"Sleep, my love."

Authors Notes

🧍‍♀️