only angel ✭ h.s.

Thirty Four

Christmas was getting closer and I was internally freaking out.

I had been racking my brain for almost three weeks now on what to get Harry for Christmas. Did I want to get him something sentimental but also something practical? I think.

Fuck this is so hard. I know he has a weird obsession with the Green Bay Packers so I could definitely get him a more practical gift like that.

Also, our favorite show to watch together was The Office, it never failed to make him laugh. He loved watching Jim pull pranks on Dwight. His dimples would always pop when we watched it and it was the most adorable thing ever.

I just wanted our first Christmas together to be somewhat special and meaningful. I've never had someone like Harry to shop for so I knew I'd have to start early to get it right.

When it came to my brother and friends we always just made lists and got each other a couple of things off of it and we were perfectly happy. I was hoping to do the same thing with Harry or at least get him to drop some hints, but when has he ever been easy to deal with. He's stubborn when it comes to me buying him things or spoiling him.

When I first asked him what he wanted for Christmas he said, "Nothing, I've got everything I could want."

Soft son of a bitch.

Of course, he made me blush and tried to distract me with kisses but I wasn't that easy. Okay, maybe sometimes I was but not now. I had asked him if he planned on getting me anything and he told me, yes and it had already been ordered. That's the exact moment my jaw had dropped on the floor because what the fuck? Already ordered? He knew what he wanted to get me and we still had three weeks till Christmas when I had asked him.

I felt like a shit girlfriend for not already getting him something or at least having an idea but nothing seemed good enough. He deserved so much and nothing that was for sale would ever add up to everything I wanted to give him.

I could laugh at myself from how thoughtful and soft I've become. I never really cared about holidays before either, I mean it didn't have much of a meaning to me because of how poorly my family was put together. We had our own way of holidays. When I was about 11 years old is when our Christmas fell off the face of the earth.

Liam and I were apparently old enough to just get by without it. Every Christmas since then was spent watching our all-time favorite holiday movies. Which was fine with me, as a younger sibling I loved to annoy Liam and try to be around him at all times. Our relationship has changed so much over the years but the roller coaster of emotions was worth it in the end.

I think we're the strongest we've ever been. He means a lot to me and I hate that I ever doubted him when he didn't know the whole truth. I just assumed he would hate me and never believe me. The mind is a scary place and it loves to play tricks on us. Making us believe the people who care for us don't.