only angel ✭ h.s.

Twenty Two

Sooner or later in life, you have to face your demons.

And here was mine. My favorite one, standing right in front of me. Only he was the light in my life that scared my demons away. He kept me safe. Honestly, I didn't know why he stuck around.

I was his demon.

My entire body became hot as the nervousness set in. Now was the time for me to step up and fix the mess I made.

In all honesty, I was scared to talk to him. What if he didn't forgive me? He had every right to hate me for what I did to him and how I made him feel.

He was right to be angry with me for relapsing instead of seeking help. Even though at the time I thought I didn't need or want it.

I knew what I did hurt him deeply, especially because of how his mother passed away. I couldn't do that to him.

I felt so lost, I didn't care what happened to me and I wasn't thinking how it would affect him.

I can't be selfish anymore. He knew why I did what I did now. Zayn had been helping me get that across to him.

Harry was finally going to get what he deserved from me. Honesty and an apology.

I could only hope it would all be enough.

Pulling myself from my thoughts I meet his sorrowful emerald eyes staring back at me. The conversation going on between our stares spoke a thousand words but was also desolate.

I promised myself I would only speak from my heart, so that's exactly what I planned. Only if he could take my thoughts from my head, this would be a lot easier.

Speaking my feelings was never something I was good at. Not that it wasn't already obvious.

I cleared my throat giving him a small smile, "I'm glad you're here." The confused look drawn on his face shows how surprised he is.

"Really?" I nod back at his question and gestured for him to sit down next to me. I missed being in his presence.

"Yes, we need to talk. Both of us know that Harry. I've just been avoiding it." I pick at the grass avoiding his gaze as he sits cross-legged just like me on the ground next to me. Our knees touching slightly.

"I can't lie, I've been so angry with you. I tried not to be at first but every time you pushed me away I felt like I was losing parts of myself."

Fuck. Well, I guess that's one way to get the conversation flowing.

"I'm so sorry. I never wanted to-" My breathing hitches as his hand brushed lightly on my knee. The touch and his words make me lose my train of thought.

"Stop. It's okay. I'm not saying this for you to apologize, we both made mistakes. I just need you to know what I went through and how I feel. I want to be honest with you and I need you to be honest with me as well. Otherwise, this won't work." He sighs and squeezes my knee as some sort of reassurance.