Alone Again (Naturally)

Slipping Through My Fingers

TW *Mentions of attempted suicide*

"Hello?" 

"It's Penny, she- she's... It's all my fault..." 

" Penny ?" 

" She's gone..." 

"No..." 

" Where are you going?" Ray asked as he saw his brother rushing around frantically,

"Lo- It's Lo-" 

"What?" The eldest questioned confused. 

"Lo's gone..." 

"She's WHAT?" Ray freaked,

"I don't know, I answered the phone and sh-" 

" Go get Mum." He spoke as he got up,

"I need to, I need- I can't lose her again-" 

" Turn up like a wreck? Go and get Mum I'll get the keys." Ray ordered. 

"MUM!" Dave shouted,

"David don't shout li-"

" It's Lo! She's- She's gone..." He cried as he stood next to her,

" She's what?" She gasped as she got up and held her son. 

" She's gone..." He cried into her shoulder. 

" We need to go." She spoke before guiding her son towards the door. 

"Mum, we need to go-" Ray began as he searched for his brothers jacket,

" You get him sorted will you? I'll go now." She ordered as she opened the front door. 

" Dave focus." Ray spoke as they ran down the road, his brother had tears down his face, "She needs you Dave, but not like this." He encouraged before he got a small nod. 

" Albert calm down." Emily spoke firmly as she held his shoulder, 

" She's gone- It's my fault." Albert muttered as he drifted away. 

" Have you got any idea of where she could be?" Emily asked practically.

" Last time she- I can't lose her as well as Rosanna..." 

" You're not going to lose her Albert, where are the boys?" She inquired wondering where the two Murphy boys were. 

" They've gone to look for her- but-" 

"Albert she'll be fine." Emily assured

" She's always been like her mother, constantly Slipping- Slipping through my fingers" He rushed before a slam of the door was heard. 

"Mum?" Ray called, Dave trailing behind. 

" In here." She returned. 

" Uncle Al..." Ray whispered at the man who was pretty much lifeless, he'd only seen him like this once or twice, when Rosanna died and when Penny-

" The last time she- she tried-" Albert cried as he remembered the phone call he received 5 years ago,

" No..." He whispered,

" She's better now okay?" Emily reassured. " Albert where could she be?" 

" I don't know... I don't even know my own daughter..." Albert swallowed. 

Dave had a sudden brain wave, 

" If things get too much-" 

" I'm fine Gail."

"If things do, you've got Thetford right?"  

" I know"

The realisation floated through his mind as looked to the collection of keys, it was gone. Before he knew it he reached for Albert's car keys and ran out of the house. 

.

.

.

The air that hissed into the rear window as the car sped down the A12, it was a symbol of what he was thinking, his mind was practically speeding at 110mph. If he found her, if her got to  see her, hold her, he'd have to tell her; he loved her, he'd loved her all of his life. He wanted to be her's and for her to be his. The engine pumped almost as much as his heart, the radio was singing stupid love songs but when he thought of her he believed in them. 

He kept rehearing the confession in his head, at least 5 different scenarios in his head; he couldn't even imagine if she didn't feel the same. She had to feel the same, if she did why didn't she ever reply to the letters? The letters were a destroyed Eleven Year Old asking for his best friend back, the other half of him back, the part of him which kept the curious child in check, the best friend who he loved with all of his heart. 

.

.

.

Dear Lo, 

This is the first letter I've sent to your new school and I hope it gets to you otherwise I'll ask Mum to check the address with Uncle Al. 

How's the new school? I hope it's all going well! I started Year 7 last week like you, but you've been there since the summer. I wished you could of been home for it, we would of had so much fun, I would of spent all of my pocket money on making it the best summer you could of ever dreamed of! Us Misfits would of had so much fun! We didn't really have much fun this summer, we just played down in the Heath when we weren't sulking over you. I really miss you Lo, I'm still trying to convince your dad to bring you home, it will work one day trust me!

I guess if worst comes to worst I'll see you on the Christmas holidays! We'll have so much fun, me and Stu will build a snow den for you, Nettie and Helena to hide in when it get super cold and we'll get some hot chocolate from Mum in the magic cups where it stays warm. I can't wait to see you during the holidays!

I've made some new friends already! Don't worry none of them are as important as you! Their names are Nate, Kyle and Don; they're so cool! You'd really like them! Some of the girls keep saying that I'm cute and they want to be my girlfriend but I told them I don't want that as I've got a best friend who when we're old enough, we'll get married and have a big house with dogs, farm animals and lots of children! Also a mansion in Paris for holidays! 

I've already planned it, we'll get married at Westminster Abbey, the Queen will tell you how beautiful you look and I'll see you come down the aisle and then we'll be married! We'll start with the pets, you will bring Dorothy and Dalton; I'll have 5 horses and 2 pet sheep! Then we would have lots of children and they'll be the best things ever! Then we get old and the grandchildren will come along and then we die at the same time because I couldn't ever possibly live without you, they'd be no point. 

Love,

Dave xxx

He hadn't seen the house since he was ten years old, the last time he'd been was during the summer holidays with Penny, Ernest, Theo and Albert. When they had arrived the last time the house had been cold and looked like it hadn't been alive in years, there was no lighting and it smelt of antiques. 

This time it was an absolute relief to see it, his heart raced at the sight of it looking alive, the house looked warm and welcoming, the lights were shining through the windows and he could just about smell the smoke which slithered out of the tall chimney. 

His whole body went on Autopilot as he knocked on the tall authoritative door, he could hear footsteps coming towards the door; the steps in synch with his heart. 

"Dave?"