Alone Again (Naturally)

She's Leaving Home

"I'm not going!" The young eleven year old exclaimed with tears down her face, 

" Penelope you're going." Albert ordered as he hung his head. 

"Don't Dad, you can't." Penny ordered, her appearance not of the usual girl she was; her hair was always slightly knotty but it was disheveled, her clothes old and ripped, her eyes dull and red and her heart broken. 

" Penelope it's not up for negotiation." He spoke sternly,

"You can't just rid of me." Penny cried. 

"I'm not trying to get rid of you! She's everywhere you are! I can't move on if she's there with you, if she's you!" Albert flipped. 

" Maman would hate you for this!" Penny roared before she ran out his study before running out of the house. 

Somehow Penelope always found herself in the same place when she was at her lowest, even though she'd come her all of life no one ever really noticed. It had been her mother's sanctuary once upon ago, the old house in the middle of nowhere had once been lit up by golden light from the chandeliers, her french heritage had been the heart of the house. 

The scruffy eleven year old placed the old rusty key into the lock and after a bit of shove and push she was stepping in the massive french mansion, she was always mesmerized as she stepped into what her mother had called, "Our Chateau". It was dusty, abandoned but so beautiful, precious and loved by one; her, Penelope Rosanna Murphy. 

The rooms were like they had been before, tall, beautiful, fancy and of architectural structure. She couldn't really comprehend her feelings, her father was right, everywhere she looked she could only see her mother; she wondered what her destiny could be if she left. She could grow, be left to forget her mother, her life could progress without having to come home and wonder if her father had joined her mother. 

She replayed the conversation with her father in her head, the thoughts spun round in her mind; her life was distant, she wasn't emotionally available where she was but would she ever be? Her mother's death had made her world collapse, she never had really gotten a chance at life. She was eleven years old but her outlook on life was dismal, mentally her life was well and truly over; one thought came to her head, one that should never come to an eleven year old's mind "Should she end it?". 

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The Twenty Eighth of December always came round every year without a doubt, this year was no different. Well in reality it was drastically different; there was no school for a distraction, no locking herself in her room for the day which was full of sorrow and there was definitely no ignoring people that day. For Penelope she needed to take matters into her own hands, she needed to be by herself; that's how she always had coped. 

The early winter morning was an awakening for the teen as she brushed her hair, it was softer than usual due to the new shampoo that Margie had bought her for Christmas; Gail, Margie and the boys had gone home on Boxing Day. She placed her scarf and hat on before making her way silently down the staircase. 

Tiptoeing into the kitchen she soon grabbed the object she desired, an old rusty set of bounded keys with the familiar label; in her mother's handwriting "Our Chateau, Thetford" .  "Our Chateau"  had been where her mother's parents had holidayed with Rosanna when they weren't in North London or back and forth from France. 

Leaving the house at 4 am with just yourself, keys and money was probably considered quite peculiar but with the fact it was the 13th anniversary of her mother's death it made perfect sense.   

The journey started with getting as far as possible before the first train at six o'clock, managing to get to the Great Cambridge Roundabout before making her way for the train. 

Her head spun with memories as she sat in the carriage; faint memories of her mother spun through her mind but mostly of being a child. Running around with her best friends who she would barely call friends anymore, except for Ray and Dave of course. 

The train pulled up at Norwich station at quarter past nine, Penelope left satisfied as she stepped onto the platform. Norwich was a familiar sight for the sixteen year old, walking through the old streets to the cab station;

" Oh my! Penny Murphy!" Gasped the receptionist as she made her way into the cab-driver's offices, 

" Hello Bob!" Penny greeted, 

"What can I do for you Madam?" Bob asked as he typed.

" Can I get a cab to Thetford?" Penny replied,

" Sure love, how soon?" He questioned as he dialed for a cab,

"As soon as possible please Bob." She smiled before taking a seat in the corner,

" 10 past?" Bob inquired,

"Perfect."

Penny approached the stately home fairly quickly placing the key into the lock just like the last time, she was greeted with the familiar smell of damp but it was home. It was even dustier than the last time she'd been but in the corner of the room remained the out of tune grand piano. 

Lighting a fire had always been the only downfall of the house, her brothers were always good at that was the thought that entered her mind as she felt a sudden rush of love for them. The last time she had been here was one of her final moments before her life collapsed into a whirlpool of lows and highs. Her life had nevertheless picked up all the ruins and had been rebuilt with stronger foundations, but every now and then a piece fell off. 

This was what she'd been waiting for, 

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