Memories {Oumasai/Saiouma}

~ 4 ~ I'm Sorry

⚠️~TW~⚠️Child Abuse, Self Depreciation.

*~*~*

"So you remember too huh?" The figure slipped into the room as the door creaked shut. I swung my chair back to sit firmly on the ground and jumped to my feet, placing my hands on my hips with a smirk.

"I knew you couldn't stay away from me for too long Shumai~!" Shuichi's face flushed slightly in the brightly lit classroom as he sat on the desk next to me. 

"We don't have long to talk right now, the teacher will be back in about five minutes."

"Wow! The golden boy got rid of the teacher just to talk to me? I'm flattered~" I smirked at him as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, suddenly very interested in the desk to the other side of him.

"Ouma this is serious. I assume you do have your memories from the game, right?"

"Awe, you got me. I guess I couldn't hide from the Ultimate Detective forever." I let out an over dramatic sigh and pouted, even though he wasn't exactly looking at me.

"You made it way too easy for me by wearing that scarf, unless it was a coincidence which I highly doubt."

"So my hint was that obvious huh?" I simply laughed. Shit, I should've realised that...

Shuichi quickly turned and narrowed his eyes at me in thought. What, did I say something weird again?  "Can you come over to my house after detention? We should talk more where we won't risk other people overhearing, and we'll have more time too." I'd love to talk to him about everything that I still don't know about the game like if my plan worked, but I can't risk it, not with my parents being home.

"As much as I would love to go on a date with you my beloved Shumai~ I have somewhere to be after this." I jumped back into my original seat. "How about tomorrow? At the nearest park under that big ass tree at..." I checked the invisible watch on my wrist. "11am?"

"...Sure." Shuichi seemed lost in thought, he must've been thinking really hard about something, but what was it? We sat in a deafening silence for a minute, both unsure of what to say, before a small sniffle brought me back to reality. I looked over at Shuichi to see him crying. "Kokichi I'm... I'm sorry."

"Huh? What for?" What did I do to make him apologise? Did I hurt him?'

"I just- I want you to know that you aren't alone, and you never will be okay? Not as long as I'm here." Oh... that. He turned to look at me, face covered in tears and guilt. Before I knew it I had wrapped my arms around the bluenette and pulled him into a tight, gentle embrace.

"It's okay Shumai, I know you didn't mean it! Please stop crying it looks ugly on you." I let out a light hearted laugh as I held Shuichi close to me, trying not to show the regret I felt at the insult I blurted out.

"Gee thanks." I heard a chuckle from the other boy as he wrapped his arms gently around me. I was glad he couldn't see my now pink face as we happily embraced each other in silence for what felt like a calming few hours, but in reality it was only around a minute. Out of nowhere I was thrown back to the floor as Shuichi jumped up and ran to the door. "The teacher will be back soon. Call me tonight okay?" Was all he said before disappearing through the door. How am I supposed to do that exactly? Not an amazing detective sometimes is he.

I sighed and sat back in my original seat, leaning back and continuing to stare at the roof.

*~*~*

My hand wrapped around the cool door handle as I let out a heavy sigh, attempting to prepare myself before I opened the door and came face-to-face with my parents. Their faces were a mix of disappointment and anger. I felt my body go cold from fear, I felt physically sick, I thought I would be able to fight back this time, why am I frozen... fight Kokichi fight.

"You're late."

The room was filled with a painful silence and tension as the two adults stared at me for what felt like infinity. "Do you have any idea what you have done to us? To our reputation?" Mum spoke in an almost whisper. My mind had gone blank in the moment and I could feel myself shaking slightly as the fear inside of me grew worse and worse.

"W-what did I d-do?" I stuttered out. Dad stepped forward and punched me square in the face, squatted down to my slumped body and grabbed me by my collar before shouting in my face.

"You know what you did. Don't play dumb with us you little mistake." He threw me to the ground at my mother's feet, her face contorted in clear disgust as she attempted to kick me back towards my father, causing me to roll me over.

"Don't touch me you filthy  child." She hissed. "We were gone for one day. ONE. And you got detention. Do you even know how we look to everyone else now? Our delinquent, failed abortion punched an innocent girl for no reason. We raised you better than this." Mum growled at me, randomly kicking me throughout her rant. All I could feel was the throbbing pain from her kicks and the tears that were sticking to my face. I had frozen up, I couldn't fight back, I was weak, I couldn't do anything but lie there and weep as my parents threw me around like the weak ragdoll I was.

*~*~*

I winced as I pressed randomly over my arms, stomach and face. There was nothing visible yet, but I knew I'd wake up black and blue the next morning. I'll need to cover these up for tomorrow, there is no way in hell I'm letting Shuichi see me like this. I stared at myself in the mirror as silence enveloped my bedroom, watching the sticky liquid slowly dripping out of my mouth. I bit my cheek really hard in the scuffle and was bleeding quite a lot, my mouth full of blood. It'll hopefully stop soon enough, please don't be too much of a problem while you heal. I took my contact out and fished a packet of cotton pads out of the drawer under me, using one to wipe away any blood and dirt I could see before getting changed into my sleepwear and carefully getting into bed, silently yelping from the pain in my back.

Tears threatened to escape from my eyes again as I stared at the roof, motionless. Why me, why was I the one going through this? Why am I still as weak as before? I guess I never changed, I always was and always will be a weak, lying, disappointment. My last thoughts of the day marinated in my mind before I fell into a deep sleep.