more than i can hold in my heart.

home

summary: miranda thinks about her home.

×+×+×+×

"I don't care if he hurt me. He's my home, Dr. Bailey. Do you know what home feels like?"

Her patient's voice broke as tears fell down her cheeks. Her husband was physically abusive, and Miranda thought it would be a good idea to help her move on. The police and the social worker were here to take her husband and kid away. But her question made the surgeon stop.

Miranda does know what home feels like. Her home has these beautiful brown eyes that always makes her feel calm and at peace. Those eyes keep her from going crazy, they keep her in place.

Home sounds like a deep, melodic voice, like waves splashing to the shore. It feels like a breath of fresh air, a salty breeze that makes her lungs feel free.

Her home is soft touches, soft carresses of skin. It's soft kisses on the lips, before going to work. A gentle squeeze of hands, and a silent 'take care.'

There's also a smaller version of where she belongs. One who reminds her of a past love, and a constant reminder of who she is, a perfect combination of Tucker and her. That part of her home giggles like crazy to a corny joke and pouts when he doesn't get his cereal first before the milk.

Miranda remembers the home she had built. Tucker Jones, and their beautiful baby boy, William George. She thought she had found it. She was a successful, married mother. She had everything.

She remembers when her supposed home with Tucker broke. It was hellish day, but she got through it. After their son's accident, they grew apart (as if they weren't already).

A few weeks later, 'work' emails that had nothing to do with work ended up in her knowledge. A big breakfast followed the next day, and she didn't even know how to stop herself from imagining the jams dripping down the side of her cheating, unfaithful, ungrateful bastard of a husband if she ever decides to stab him in the neck with the knife she's holding.

That didn't crash her marriage, yet, and now, thinking why in the hell it didn't. What did was his ultimatum (how dare he make her choose, when he was the one who cheated? the gall of this man is astonishing) on their marriage. She chose neither of his options, and she made her own way. She didn't need him.

She hurt, and she cried, and it took a few wrong turns (she liked Eli, truly, but they weren't right for each other), but she finally found the one to surrender to, the one to co-exist with, the one to trust her heart, her life with.

Benjamin Warren.

She certainly knew what home feels like, and she says that to her patient, but home doesn't hurt you like that.

Once Miranda goes home, she looks at the family she's found, and kept for herself.

It was late that night, her shift extended until the early hours of morning, and she sees Ben and Tuck curled up at the couch, with the TV still on. She turns it off, the silence filling them, except for Ben's small snores.

"Hey, I'm home," she mutters under her breath, careful not to wake them, and a smile covers her face, because yes, she's home.

And there's no place else she belongs.

a/n: happy new year!!! i rlly hope 2021 is a good yr, we've all had a bad 2020, and i think we deserve more, right?

hope you liked this one!

-jyka💕