more than i can hold in my heart.

dripping like a saturated sunrise

(continued from last chapter)

×+×+×+×

When Ben met Miranda, his world burst into color.

He's heard thousands of stories, watched hundreds of movies about soulmates, and truly, he didn't think he'd ever meet his own.

But there she was, and his world changed.

Everything he could see, he stared at with interest.

He'd heard of the colors, the one called 'green' for plants and trees, 'blue' for the sky, 'orange' for their scrubs. It was all there, and he absorbed all of it. He was so damn happy.

Except for the fact that apparently, his soulmate - Miranda Bailey - didn't see the colors as well as he did.

Or maybe she did, and she just chose to push him away.

Now he'd watched so many movies he knew that she was probably one of those who didn't believe in soulmates or relationships and whatnot.

I mean, the way she reacted when he tried to flirt with her was definitely her freaking out.

He stayed away for a while, but he's always drawn to her.

They don't talk. Not about it. But he's sure, the way she always looked at him - with those soft eyes - so unlike the way she looked at other people, like it was specifically made just for him. When she looked at him like that, he knew that she knew.

And that she loved him too.

×+×+×+×

He doesn't remember falling down the ravine.

He doesn't remember the curve, and he doesn't remember anything about the accident.

Ben only remembered waking up, seeing black and white.

And he cried. A lot.

Because he doesn't know where he is, and seeing black and white only meant something was wrong.

All he knew was that he's walking along the road, and the forest isn't the vibrant greens he loved, but it's dark and black mixed with shades of grey.

He doesn't like it. Not one bit.

"Miranda!" He shouted, but it's an endless road and he knew nobody was coming to help him.

×+×+×+×

Ben walked along the road, trying to find someone to talk to, to ask for help.

He's cold and he doesn't know where to go, what to do.

He's alone.

Then he started getting warmer. And warmer, and warmer, and the colors started to come back.

Ben looked at the plants and the trees and the flowers and he laughed.

Everything reminded him of Miranda, because it's what she gave him, and he felt safer already.

×+×+×++

Ben gasped, his world coming into existence as his eyes opened.

He was gone for a few minutes - or hours, most likely - but he was back, and the colors he could see were proof of it.

"Miranda," he rasped, and he saw someone in the corner of his eyes.

"Miranda?" He repeated, and he never felt more wrong in his life.

"Benjie, oh my God!" His mother - Abigail Warren - smothered him in a hug, and he chuckled, taking in her scent.

They pulled away, and he saw tears in her eyes. "Mom, I'm okay."

"I know, I know." She sobbed. "But we all thought you were gone."

"We?" He asked. It didn't occur to him until now that Miranda had probably lost her 'sight' too, just as he had, wandering in that road. She could've been devastated.

Abigail smiled. "That doctor, Callie, was it? They almost stopped because you didn't have a pulse even after they warmed you, but she insisted they don't stop." She looked at him as if she knew something he didn't. "She said something about being your soulmate."

He frowned. "N-No, Mom! No!" He laughed, but his body ached so he stopped himself and he started coughing.

"Oh, don't strain yourself, sweetie." She admonished him. She helped him drink from a glass of water with a straw.

He coughed once, and pushed the straw away from his face. "Thank you."

"So? You didn't tell me you've met your soulmate." She grinned.

"Callie Torres is not my soulmate." He rolled his eyes. "She has her own. Her best friend is my soulmate."

"Miranda, then?" She asked, laughing at the horrified gaze of her son.

Ben spluttered. "How did you know?"

"You said her name and when you found me instead, you looked disappointed."

He blushed. "I-I… we haven't talked about it."

Abigail frowned. "And why not? You see color and you're soulmates."

"I know." He sighed. "But we've been busy. But… we're friends, you know?"

"I don't know." She scoffed. "Benjie… she's your soulmate. There's no one else like her."

He smiled. "Y-yeah. I know."

"Benjamin!" Suddenly, his world lit up again, and not just because the colors are brighter, but the woman he loved is standing in front of him.

"Miranda." He chuckled, and he wanted nothing more than to run to her and take her in his arms but all the tubes connected to him stopped him.

Abigail smirked at the corner of his eye. "I'll leave you two alone."

Miranda suddenly broke down, and she sobbed, holding his hand. "I-I…"

"Hey, shh." He weakly reached up his other hand to wipe her tears. "I'm okay. I'm okay."

"I thought I lost you." She told him, her eyes so lonely yet relieved at the same time. "T-The colors they were back to black and white. And I thought you died."

Ben smiled. "But I'm here now, okay? I'm here."

She sniffled. "Y-you're here. Don't scare me like that again, Benjamin Warren." she tried to glare at him but it didn't work through the tears.

He chuckled. "Yes, ma'am."

"I love you," she declared. "I love you. I'm sorry we never -

"I love you too." He grinned, holding her hand tight. He pulled it up to his lips and kissed her hand. "And don't worry about it. What matters is you and I are here. Together."

Miranda laughed, nodding. "Yeah. I love you so much." She leaned in, and their lips almost met, but they were interrupted by a voice.

"Oops, sorry, I was just…" Abigail stood there with a sheepish smile. "I thought you were done."

"Mom, go away!" Ben laughed, and Miranda hid her face, embarassed.

Abigail laughed loudly, and walked away.

"Hey, hey. She's gone." Ben held her chin and lifted it so she could look at him. "Where were we?"

Miranda smiled softly, and leaned in, closing the gap between them.

It was sweet, and behind her eyelids, she saw a fireworks display. The colors burst, and her heart filled with bliss.

Now that was how a soulmate felt like.

×+×+×+×

a/n : okay yey happy ending actually :))

also - if it wasn't clear, ben fell into a ravine, got hypothermia and died for a while before he came back (based on april's accident in s14 e23)

title - still from colors by halsey