more than i can hold in my heart.

i don't do drugs

a/n : welcome to planet her!!!

if y'all don't know yet, i love doja cat so much (i think i already have a fic promoting her music). she's so versatile, and her music shows just how much talent is in her body, and she just released her newest album, planet her, today.

track no. 6, i don't do drugs, is a collab with ariana grande, and it is so good, so beautiful, and yes this is my way of promoting it (it is in the link above if u too lazy to go to spotify or yt)

STREAM PLANET HER <333

enjoy!

-jyka💕

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Miranda sat up to catch her breath. She held a hand to her chest as she panted.

She was in her bedroom, just woken up from a dream. A really good dream.

Her eyes closed as the memory repeated in her head.

She was inside the OR, finalizing the chart after 3 long hours of surgery. She was left with Ben Warren, Anesthesiologist, who was completing his notes.

Usually, they work in silence, having had a couple surgeries together beforehand, but now, Ben was looking at her intently.

After a couple of minutes, she'd had enough. "Dr. Warren?" He hummed, his eyes still watching her. She cleared her throat. "Dr. Warren," she said with more conviction, hoping it would at least make him nervous.

But it did the opposite. She frowned as his lips pulled up into a smirk. "Yes, Dr. Bailey?"

"What are you staring at me for?"

The next few seconds made little sense. He was suddenly in front of her, his lips covering hers fully.

Miranda gasped into his mouth, letting him explore better. His tongue delved into her depths, touching every nook and cranny.

She moaned, melting instantly. His taste was something she could always crave, always need. His touch was electrifying, and everything she never knew she needed.

When the kiss ended, she reached the point of consciousness, and she realized it was real. Her mind just decided to replay it in the form of a dream.

Miranda wondered why people would even need drugs when someone like him existed.

Ben was a drug all on his own, an addictive one at that. It's been two weeks, and all she could think about was kissing him again, and even that wouldn't be enough. She needed a fix, and she wasn't entirely sure even having sex with him was going to do it. She would cling to him like he was oxygen, she knew it.

With a sigh, she also knew she couldn't entertain this any longer. He'd be her weakness, and she'd crash and burn, so she decided she was going to ignore him until the need to kiss him senseless was gone.

×+×+×+×

The need to kiss him senseless was not gone.

Rather, it has increased tenfold.

Seeing Ben at work had Miranda holding her breath, the lack of oxygen making her a little dizzy.

She hoped she'd prepared enough for her to keep casual in front of him, but no, it was horrible. She could only think of his lips, on hers, spreading kisses down her body, whispering dirty things in the creases of her skin.

"Dr. Bailey?" Arizona Robbins nudged her elbow. "Rounds are over, we can go."

Miranda felt her cheeks flush. "O-Oh, right. Sorry, I… was somewhere else," she avoided Ben's gaze, which was clearly on her. She turned around, moving quickly into an on-call room and she took a deep breath, her back resting on the door.

As she was catching her breath, trying to calm down her fast-beating heart, a knock came from behind her.

"Dr. Bailey, are you there? You okay?" His voice was there. His deep, melodic voice that sent ripples through her skin, down to her most intimate part.

"What do you want?" Her voice was strained, and she hoped he couldn't hear it.

"Miranda, let me in," Ben demanded.

She closed her eyes, debating it. Should she open it? If she did, she'll fall into his arms, for sure. But if she insisted, she knew she'd save herself the trouble. Getting attached to him, getting addicted to him would only be for the worse, both on his and her part.

But at this moment, all logic went out the window. She just wanted him, and him only.

Miranda opened the door, and suddenly, she was being pushed in. All too familiar lips attached to hers and the door closed almost automatically.

In any other circumstance, she'd be concerned at the amount of people outside who'd been a little too observant, but with Ben's hands all over her, she couldn't think straight.

He pulled away from her, and she almost whined, until his lips closed in on the skin of her neck, nibbling and kissing everywhere he could reach.

"Ben," she gasped, her panties getting even wetter. She felt so good, so damn good, but no, she didn't do this. She didn't hook up with co-workers, no matter how insanely addictive they are. "Stop," she moaned.

Being the gentleman he is, Ben stopped immediately, concern written in his eyes. "Am I going too fast? I-I'm sorry, I--

Miranda couldn't handle his totally attractive kindness, and she cut him off. "No, no. It's… it's good, it was really good."

"Then…" he trailed off, searching her eyes.

She closed them, not wanting to bare herself to him, and at the same time not wanting to dote on how caring and perfect he is. "This… this can't happen. Don't get me wrong, I want you. I really do. But…" She opened her eyes, a smirk dancing on her lips. "I don't do drugs."

His face contorted in confusion, and she almost laughed out loud. She didn't, but she used the temporary distraction and slipped through him, out the door.