more than i can hold in my heart.

insomnia

Miranda hasn’t really gotten much sleep.

When she closes her eyes, she sees everything blurry, and she sees the bacteria reaching in her arms, to her hands. It covers her eyes, and she ends up infecting her every patient, and everyone she loves.

So she opens her eyes back up. No matter how heavy her eyelids get, she is not sleeping. She has to test herself again.

Just when she stands up to go to her lab, the phone rings.

"Hello?" She doesn't even care who it was, but it better not be the hospital.

"Hey, baby. How are you?" Ben's voice sounded worried.

"Benjamin." She smiled. Her husband got in a plane a few days ago, when she started lashing out. Everyone had turned their back on her, even Richard. She was alone, she locked herself up, and didn't talk to anyone, no matter who it was knocking at the door.

That night, she was just testing and testing herself, she felt dirty, and shitty, and everything bad. She hadn't cried, she hadn't spoken. A knock had come to her door, and she rolled her eyes, but then it was Ben.

Miranda had opened the door and let him in, and he comforted her, or at least, tried to. Even he couldn't take away the fact that she killed 3 people.

A few days after, Ben had to come back to LA, to continue his residency. He didn't want to go, but she told him to. She convinced her she was fine, but seriously? She was now regretting that.

"Miranda." Her voice shook her out of her thoughts. "Hey, I hope you weren't sleeping."

"I wasn't." And it was true. She hasn't slept well ever since the incident, but when Ben was here, she got 3-4 hours, at least. But when he was gone, she had none at all.

"It's a little late, so… I thought you'd be sleeping. Anyway, I just got out of surgery. Appendectomy." She can hear him smiling, and can feel his excitement.

Miranda smiled. She was so proud of him.

Silence filled the call, and all she could hear was his breathing. It sort of lulled her eyes to a close. The fear was still there, but it calmed down a bit.

Miranda licked her lips and sat on the bed, finally realizing how sleepy she was. "Ben?"

"Yes, baby?"

"I…" she trailed off. How does she say it? I can't sleep. Like that? God, she was so pathetic. She felt like a damsel in distress, and a knight in shining armour. She'd always hated that plot. It was so sexist.

She was brought back by his voice. "Trouble sleeping?" Ben asked softly.

Miranda was taken aback. "W-what?" How'd he know?

"I don't know how I know, but I can tell. Maybe it's 'cause you're slurring a bit, not like your usual self, and it's late. You usually sleep as much as you can." His voice was gentle and soothing, and she can almost feel like his arms are around her.

"You know me so well," she chuckled, and although it wasn't that genuine, she truly appreciated the way he knew her like the back of his hand. He laughed a little too. "So… can you, uh, tuck me in?"

Miranda can hear him smile. "If that's what you want, woman, I'm all for it."

She smiled. God, this man was everything. "Alright, Miranda, just lay down, and focus on my voice, alright?"

She did as she was told, and pulled the covers to her chin. Her eyes started to close, and she whimpered as the vision of the people she killed swarmed her. "Hey, calm down, don't think about anything else, Miranda. Listen to my voice, just focus on my breathing, baby."

Miranda's eyes stayed close, and she tried to calm her fast-beating heart. She focused on Ben's breathing, and his bass voice. "There we go. Just imagine, I'm right there beside you, my arms are around you."

Her breathing slowed, and she does imagine him with her. Her bed still smelled like him, and the shirt she's wearing was his. She inhaled it, and started to fall asleep.

Miranda woke up a few hours later, and it was one of the best sleep she's had in awhile.

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a/n: heyy happy monday (or not idk) i just got this idea and the one-shot's pretty short but ig it's kinda angsty and kinda cute?? my ex gf had insomnia & i'd tuck her in & she got sleep, so idk i thought it was cute

hope yall liked it!!

-jyka💕