Now I See You // Jikook // ⚠18+⚠

*6*

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Song recommendations: Skin- Sabrina Carpenter 
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He was back in his bed, staring at the ceiling again just like had a few hours ago. 
And yet everything was different. 
He didn't feel empty or numb. 
All he could think about was Jimin.
 
Jimin in Taemin's arms. 
The way Jungkook had shouted at him, saying horrible things, his words being led more by fear than anger.
And then the way the small boy had broken down, his face consorting in pain, tears streaming down his face. 

Don't hurt me.

He had begged with so much desperation and helplessness, and that's when Jungkook knew. He had been wrong. Oh, God. He had been so wrong about Jimin. 
Nothing could have prepared him for what he found today. 
A Jimin who wasn't strong.
A Jimin who wasn't confident and smug or arrogant.
A Jimin who didn't smirk at him or provoked him.
A Jimin who didn't laugh and sleep around and chose status over friendship.

Just a boy who had been hurt- who was hurting still, haunted by something.
It's as if Jimin had not even seen him anymore as he screamed in pain and fear, crawling at him as he tried to calm him. 

Jungkook had felt so helpless seeing the once so self-assured boy break down.

Don't hurt me, please.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to forget the sound of it, but failed. 
There Jimin was again, in the dark room, crying and shaking, struggling against something that wasn't there.

Who hurt him? How? Why?
Was that the reason Jimin became so distant? Shoving them away?
No. He could have just asked them for help...
But one thing was sure: Jimin wasn't going to tell him.
He should just just do as the small boy proposed: Pretend it never happened. 

He tried. He tried really hard until another memory hit him like a bolt of lighting.
He sat up straight, his eyes flying wide.
"Precious?" He whispered into the darkness of his room.
That's what he had called Jimin.

Shit. What had he been thinking? How had he even thought of it in a situation like that and what would Jimin think of him now?
How was he not going to die of shame when he saw him next?
He groaned loudly, letting himself fall back in his bed, covering his eyes with his arm. God, this was humiliating.
He just hoped Jimin didn't remember.

He turned and tossed all night, unable to forget- unable to get the small, white-haired boy out of his mind.
When he finally did sleep, his dreams were haunted by his cries and his begging. But there was another, his eyes filling with tears as Jungkook told him to fuck off and never visit him again, pushing him the same way he had pushed Jimin in the hallway. 

When he woke, he was half expecting to find his emotions numbed again, but surprisingly the fog had lifted off his heart and breathing came a little easier. 
His condition seemed to follow no reason. Sometimes it mattered what happened during the day, sometimes it didn't. He felt out of control, but for the moment he was just glad he could enjoy the day. 

He went out for a run, letting the music from his earphones drown out all other sound, pushing his body to the limit. He liked exercise, keeping his body in shape to at least feel comfortable in his skin, if not his mind. 
His father's constant preaching came to his mind.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

- Corinthians 16:19-20. 

And as if God wanted to make his day even better, he was allowed to meet up with his friends. 
The entire afternoon he spend at Jin's playing video games and laughing out loud when he beat the older more than once.