tell me you love me (cedric and draco)

twenty six

I hate you.

The door to Cedric's room opens and Harry stands there, looking so defeated at me, sighing. "Lauren," his voice cracks.

"He's gone," I whisper, looking up at him, a tear falling from the corner of my eye. "He's really gone."

He walks over to me and kneels down the floor, hugging me as I sob into his chest, sobs that sound like the ones he cried that night. But he doesn't care, or if he does, he doesn't show it. We sit there for so long, just hugging each other, it eventually turns dark outside and the stars come out. Harry doesn't complain at all, instead murmuring soothing words to me and brushing the hair back from my face.

He takes a shaky breath and whispers"I'm so sorry, Ren. I'm so, so sorry. I tried to save him... I tried so hard, Ren, but Peter, he just..."

I look up into Harry's green eyes and see the first tear fall down his cheek, slowly rolling until it hits his nose. I slowly raise my hand to his face and push so that he's looking at me, so he knows I mean what I'm about to say.

"Cedric's death," I breathe, the words feeling sour on my tongue, and start again. "Cedric's death... was not your fault, Harry. It's only Voldemort's fault, you know that."

He shakes his head, exasperated, and sighs. "I could have saved him, I could have-"

I tighten my grip on his cheek. "There is nothing you could have done, Harry. You couldn't have saved him," I hiss. "Stop blaming yourself." Quieter, I add, "He wouldn't want you to do that. I don't want you to do that."

I close my eyes and let my head drop into Harry's shoulder, thinking of Cedric. I felt like that's all I did now, think of him. I see him in everything all the time. Every time I see yellow, or a window, or the stars. I really, really used to love the stars, but now I can't bring myself to look at them, especially our star.

I board the Hogwarts Express, trying my best to ignore all the stares. They haven't stopped since that night, they've only gotten worse, actually. Stares of pity from everyone, including those that have made fun of me in the past, like Pansy Parkinson.

One person that doesn't give me that stare of pity, of if he does he makes sure I can't see it, is Draco.

He carried me off the field once I collapsed from seeing Cedric and stayed with me in the hospital wing the entire night. Madam Pomfrey told him to leave countless times, but he never listened to her. He was there when I woke up, thinking that everything was a nightmare, and he would soothe me back to sleep. We haven't talked since that night, though. He's ignored me in the hallway, in the great hall, in Hogsmeade, everywhere.

I walk through the hall of the train, following Harry, Ron and Hermione closely. I look at my feet, but notice Harry looking back at me every few seconds. I flash him a smile to reassure him I'm okay, and look back down at the ground, anything to ignore the stares.

I only look up into one compartment, the compartment that Draco Malfoy always sits in. And there he is, sitting there with his hands knotted together, staring at the floor. The sunlight from the window reflects off of his hair and turns his grey eyes pale.

I stop walking and when Harry turns around to look at me, I motion for him to keep walking and smile for good measure.

I open the door to Malfoy's compartment and slide in, shutting the door behind me. He looks up at me and his leg stops bouncing. Groaning, he says, "What do you want, Lauren?"

"No more Lolo?" I whisper playfully, sitting down next to him. He moves away and hangs his head, his eyes to the floor. "What's wrong, Draco? Just look at me," I say, reaching a hand out to grab his face. He recoils, and I drop my hand, embarrassed.

"What the hell?" I hiss. "I wanted to thank you, for that night, for staying with me, comforting me."

I stand up and scoff, rolling my eyes. "But you want to be an arse? Fine, be a complete arse, Draco Mal-"

"I told you everything would be okay, I told you that everything was fine, and then nothing was, Lauren," he says, his eyes flashing.

"You thought everything was! That wasn't your fault!" I shout, a passerby looking into the window. I shoot them a mean look and close the curtain, blocking everyone's view of us.

I turn around and see Draco standing directly in front of me, having moved so quietly I hadn't heard. "I felt like every time I've looked at you since that night, all I see is you broken, and crying, and just not you," he whispers, his eyes jumping from my left one to my right. "And I felt like part of that was my fault. I told you that everything was going to be fine, and it wasn't. Cedric died, Lauren. And I think a part of you died with him."

I bite my lip and look down, closing my eyes. I feel his arms wrap around me and he pulls me into a hug, resting his chin on my head. "I miss you, alright, Lolo? You've gotta come back to me, okay?" he mumbles from above.

He squeezes me tighter as I say, "Okay."

The door handle moves and Draco moves stands to stand in front of it, Crabbe and Goyle trying to walk in. "Go into another compartment for a moment," he hisses, and they scatter.

"I should probably go anyways," I sigh, after he closes the door and turn backs to me. I lean up on my tip toes and kiss him on the cheek, catching him completely off guard, and say, "Thank you, Draco," before walking out the door and back to the compartment with my friends.

I didn't go home for the Summer, opting for staying with the Weasley's at the Burrow. I spent my days playing quidditch with Fred, George, Ron, and Ginny, with Hermione playing score-keeper. Usually, we would've played boys against girls, but Fred insisted on playing with Ginny and I, and we often won.

Ginny later told me that she thought her brother fancied me, but I had to push the thought aside with a smile. It was still too soon after Ced to be thinking about anything like that. We did have a few nights together though, just the two of us messing around.... but nothing actually happened.

At night, Hermione, Ginny and I would sleep in one room, making every night like one giant sleepover. One night in particular, Hermione, Ginny, Fred, George, Ron, and I all slept in the greenhouse outside. Well, we didn't really sleep, instead we talked all night and slept all through the next day. It still felt off without Harry here with us, but I tried not to think too much about it.

We eventually moved to a new place, Number 12 Grimmauld Place. It was the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix, something Mrs. Weasley wouldn't let any of us kids join. But, I had a feeling that once Harry came here, things would change, being Mr. Chosen One and all.

I hated this place, to be quite frank. It was dark and gloomy, and if you were too loud, Mrs. Black would wake up and start screaming at us. I really liked spending time with Sirius though, since he always had really great stories to tell us all. Same with Remus and Tonks, since Tonks would always change her hair, or her nose, or her eyes at dinner. Just something to make us laugh.

I wrote letters to my parents for the first few weeks of Summer, but eventually stopped. I feel like in the past year at Hogwarts, I grew far away from them, too far away. I never even told them I was dating Cedric- er, dated, I should say. Plus, the Weasleys always felt like my home, full with everyone I love.
It was just easier for me to be with the people I love right now, people who can make me forget everything.

I walk into the living area, the night before Harry's supposed to be arriving, and look out the window at the stars I've grown to hate. Mrs. Weasley told all of us to get some sleep, but the anticipation of seeing him again sends my stomach into a flurry. He'd become my absolute best friend at Hogwarts, really in my life at this time. I really missed him too, and with his mess up using magic in front of Dudley, I was afraid that this could be one of the last times I see him.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and see Hermione, gently motioning for us to go to bed in our shared room. So, I follow Hermione up the stairs to the room we're sharing and change quickly before laying down on the bed beside her, anxious for the next day, my thoughts, and later my dreams, being of Harry, and once I'm really asleep, of Cedric.