Broken

Chapter 30

The face of the life I killed is still in my mind. Before, I couldn't even remember what color his fur was.

But I can remember it now. The fur was a white cote with a grey under belly and black paws and ears.

Who knows? Maybe that wolf had a family, maybe it was a pregnant wolf, maybe it didn't have a family, but was still trying to survive.

I killed someone.

The food in my stomach burned my throat as I threw up again. Everything feels so hot. I feel like I'm on fire.

Fire. I'm going to hell, I don't believe in it, but shit, it's where I'm going now.

I felt someone pull my hair back as I threw up and place the cold towel on my forehead, running it across my face.

"You're going to be okay." Ryder whispered. I shook my head and cuddled further into his chest.

It wasn't supposed to end up this way. I should be arrested. I should go to jail, my life is over.

He's dead.

There is goes again, the burn of the throw up. I coughed into the garbage can and felt disgusting.

"Shower." I whispered pushing Ryder away from me and got up. Almost instantly, I fell to the ground. Ryder leisurely came to my side as if he was expecting this reaction.

"Later." He promised.

But I can smell it! The blood! Thinking back, I can hear the crack of the wolf I killed.

"No! I want to shower now! Ryder take me to the bathroom! I want to shower!" I screamed only seeing his head.

It's like the tell tale heart, I can hear the heart beat of the wolf! I know I can!

It's giant deep brown eyes are still in my mind as it watched me kill him. Oh god!

"Ryder now! Please!" I screamed kneeling in front of him, on both my knees, and put my face on his lap. "Please Ryder, I-I feel so gross. I feel,"

I don't know how I feel.

The crack of the wolf's bone only reminds me of the crack of Xavier's bones. I'm like the guy who killed Xavier.

He killed himself not so long after Xavier died. I remember he came to see me and told me how sorry he was. He left me a couple thousand dollars, which was all he had left, and offed himself the next day.

It didn't make the sting of Xavier any better.

Ryder, against my wishes, brought me back to bed. I screamed, but my body was too weak to do anything.

"Ryder!" I screamed trying to fight my way to the bathroom. "Please!"

"Just get through this fever and you'll be okay." Ryder promised. Him and his promises.

"How do you know?" I whispered closing my eyes, it's so hot.

"Because it happened to me too." Closing my eyes once again, my dreams became filled with Ryder's memory.

Ryder had been drinking with his father, I guess that was normal for them. And it was in celebration of Ryder winning some odd competition within the pack.

When Ryder stepped out to get some air, he saw someone getting beat up. It was Juliana.

Ryder quickly ran over to her and pushed the four guys who were beating her up. Juliana clawed at Ryder to help her escape, but soon it became 1 against 4, a fresh victim.